Once Upon A Summer

Once Upon A Summer
Url: http://winglin.net/fanfic/iknownot/
Author:by iknownot
Reviewed by: Keleos

First Impressions
Title ~ 6/10
The title is reminiscent of some of Nicholas Sparks’ works, that’s the first impression I got when I first saw the fic’s title. I’m not terribly impressed with such a title, to be honest. It doesn’t really capture what the whole story is about, so it’s not really being very effective as a whole. Nevertheless, it earns a 6 because it just sounds alright and average.

Posters & background ~ 7/10
The poster is rather interesting, and the myriad of oranges, reds and yellows makes the whole thing have an interesting texture. I have a question though, why those colours? The poster seems more “autumn” than “summer”, complete with the migrating birds in a distance. But it’s since a beautiful poster, and it attracts the reader to keep on reading. I have issues with the background and text colour though, because I’d have preferred something that was more coloured, to show that you’d have put some thought into the choosing and the entire “marketing” of your fic.

Foreword ~ 4/10
The foreword says nothing at all, so it’s really difficult to judge what the entire fic is about. I was not impressed by your first chapter either, because the way the whole thing was written made it seems as if the fic was going to be one of the more clichéd, romantic fics that was set in a template. So… The starting impression as a whole was not really very interesting.

Upon closer examination…
Storyline/plotting ~ 9/15
I suspect you know what I’m about to write. It’s terribly clichéd! Not in a terribly bad sort of way, because I’m going to assume you’re a girl, and it’s definitely a girl’s prerogative to imagine that she could have a romance like that (sigh… :P). Storyline doesn’t score too well here, in that case. It’s predictable, so I tended to miss out some of the details and move on to the next chapter quickly.

I’m scoring highly for plotting, because it seems to me that you know what you’re going to write next, and the whole thing has been planned out carefully. Which is really good, because there’s only one main storyline going on at one time. It’s good for the flow, and I enjoyed reading it the way it was written. I’m easily confused, but this one definitely worked for me, so that’s really nice.

Cast used ~ 3/5
There’s an obvious lack of creativity in the cast chosen, because there’re no cross pairings between various artistes or groups of people. It’s just DBSK, and the lead girl is a made-up own character. Granted that it is actually easier to create a tailor-made character to suit the various personalities and characteristics of the lead males, but I was frankly, a little disappointed in the casting as a whole. There could have been more creativity in the pairing, and even with the choosing of the minor characters (like Min Hyuk and Hae Rin) to include a wider variety of real life actors and singers. It gives more room for the reader to imagine how he or she really looks like in real life, and connect better with the whole story. Also, I’m a little disconcerted at the lack of dimension of the characters, because they all seem to be straightforward, straight-thinking characters with the lack of nuances in them Which makes the story a tad boring.

Language ~ 6/10
I find fault a lot on spelling and grammar, so you must, must, must really forgive me on this! I realise that English is not you first language, and I’m giving leeway for that. But the mistakes in grammar and spelling here and there break the flow of the writing and plot, and sometimes, I find myself picking out grammar and syntax problems without concentrating too much on the story itself! Overall, it’s still readable, though, but because the flow is spoilt, I can’t give higher than a 6.

Readability ~ 3/5
The style is fine, really. But the problems mentioned above mars the overall readability.

Overall feel… So far.
Creativity of the story ~ 8/15
Once again, the story wasn’t anything special. It was very much like one of the Taiwanese dramas that we often get, and the fact that the characters did not stand out in their personalities very much did not help to fix that. The overall love story, without much of a plot other than that, allowed for no room for the reader to be able to engage more in the story, which is really a pity.

The saving grace for the entire story comes in two forms. Firstly, the character Andre. I’m glad you wrote such a character in, because it allows for the story to stand out from the others and be different. A dead twin brother? No one really writes that sort of thing very much. It shows the emotional part of the story, and aids for the relationship between Yunho and Alex, which is really sweet. Two, is the character Max. I’m not exposed much to Korean fics, but I definitely liked the scenes which Max was in. He was the person that had a fully developed character, and it really is wonderful to see that. He was an adorable character, complete with his eating and his wacky temperament. Yay to that!

Overall enjoyment ~ 14/20
Well… Overall, the story was alright. I can’t find any major fault with the whole thing, and it was really a read that was moderately enjoyable. There were a couple of scenes that I did in fact, fast-forward, for instance, I did fast-forward most of Chapter 29. BUT! There were also scenes which I found terrificly sweet, like the scene which Indra sends the video out to Alex, allowing her to see what Andre would have said to her for her birthday on tape. It was a rather enjoyable read, as a whole. J

Don’t worry, keep on writing. There are so many scenes inside that touched me, but there could be whole chapters that could have been removed entirely. But as a whole, it was a nice story! JJ

Overall review scoring: 60/100 J