B.lack M.oon D.estiny

Title: B.lack M.oon D.estiny

Author: by th1rd3ye

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/BMD

Reviewed by: Lamer_

Title = 10/10

Lovely title.. It’s nice and catchy..

Cast = 5/5

Lovely Cast used.. I like them a lot..

Foreword = 8/10

Nice Foreword.. A lovely start by having a small paragraph for the story.. Interested the reader to read on.. :) Nice one.. But maybe you should reveal a little bit more of the character parts to interested the reader more

Poster & Background = 8.5/10

Lovely Poster and background used.. It suit the mood of the story.. The colour you use for the words doesn’t hurt the readers eye unlike some.. Great Job done.. But do space out the words as they are a bit cramp up and a bit hard to read..

Plot = 10.5/15

The flow was great.. The plot is fine.. Finely wrote out by your good English.. But during some part.. I found you too rush into the detail and the feel wasn’t there.. Well.. Do try to add in more emotions part for the character to enhance the story and spice things up a little.. The detail was there but the feeling wasn’t.. Try to think from the view of the character to capture the feeling.. There is lack of ‘punch’ in some part of the story..

Originality & Creativity = 11.5 /15

Lovely storyline and Great casting.. Fantasy genre story.. The plot was pretty original and the creative-ness add on to spice up the whole story.. But.. It lack some sort of creative-ness in some part of the story.. Maybe adding in more detail or emotion spice the whole story up more..

Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 10/10

A full marks for you.. I can hardly spot any mistake.. Great job done.. Thumb up

Overall enjoyment = 15/20

Well.. Overall.. For now.. Until the last chapter.. I did enjoy reading the story.. But.. During some part.. I felt that there is a lack of some ‘feels’ in the story.. Maybe you rush onto the next part or maybe it’s just that the feel wasn’t right.. You tend to rush a little during times but it’s still all right for now.. Try to add in more emotions into the story to enhance the whole thing.. Well.. It’s hard to say now as it’s not complete.. Do sent in for another review when you have complete the story for a more detail review..

Reader Friendly = 4/5

The writer is very friendly and reply the readers.. Great job.. :) One thing to look out for, is the spacing of the words.. Some sentence tend to cramp up a little..

Bonus Mark!

Link Back To Us: 3/3

Thanks for linking us up.. :)

Total: 85.5

Additional Remark: Well.. I have to add on another point here.. I can see you put in a lot of effort in your story.. But.. I do feel that the story lack of some ‘punch’ in some part.. In some part, I think the ‘feel’ wasn’t there or right too.. I mean.. Your story got what it take to be a good story.. But.. It just lack of certain substance.. Your hardwork is much appreciated in the story.. Maybe you can try to add in more ‘punch’ in the story to made it more exciting.. Well.. It’s up to each to explain the meaning for ‘punch’ in story.. Hope you find yours meaning and use it on your story.. Well.. It’s just a penny of my thought.. Hope I didn’t crap too much on it.. Cheers.. :)