LOST

Title: LOST

Author: Ji-Yul

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Lost_Ji_Yul/

Reviewed by: Lovie

Title: 7/10

Oh, “LOST”. I have seen this title around on Winglin, but I didn’t manage to check it out. Quite an interesting name and I can understand why it is “LOST”.

Cast Used: 4/5

Ok, I have to admit, I like the cast in this story. It’s still refreshing to me although I have read stories on them before. Nice pairing, I must say! =]

Foreword: 8/10

Good. Your foreword is good because you included the prologue of your story. It did manage to catch the attention of your readers and keep them in suspense, making them want to read more. But, I would encourage you to include a character introduction although you have already mentioned the main characters. Character introduction is important characters are the ones who shape your story! :)

Poster & Background: 0/10

Sorry, I’m unable to give you a good grade for this because you didn’t have a poster or background. Although you did change the colour of the background, but it’s still plain. So, I would strongly recommend you to request for a poster, and background (if you want) at Midnight Tree or other Affies sites. Posters can enhance the readers in the mood of the story and background can spice up the webpage! This is a little suggestion for you. Hope that you will accept my feedback! :D


Plot: 11/15

I like how you arrange the ideas, keeping the readers in suspense at the end of every chapter, and making them want to read more. Also, the story flow is smooth. However, you have not completed your fanfiction, so I could not give you a higher mark when the whole plot is not revealed yet. :]

Originality & Creativity: 14/15

Based on the chapters so far, I would comment that this story is quite original and creative because I don’t think I have seen any other stories on Jaejoong “falling” down the balcony! XD
Language (Spelling and Grammar): 6/ 10

Sorry, but I will have to mark you down at this criterion.

You see, you made a quite a few mistakes in grammar. For example, “Why don’t you tries that way”, it should be “Why don’t you try that way?” instead. Also, “Jae-boo… please… don’t teased me like that!” It should be, “Jae-boo... please... don’t tease me like that!”.

Spelling wise, I would encourage you to type out the full word. If not, some readers would have difficulties understanding your story. For example, “lotta”, I suppose it means “a lot of”? And, “gotta” should be “got to”.

Please be careful of your caps. For example, “stop looking for Jaejoong by yourself!”, it should be “Stop looking for Jaejoong by yourself!”. Also, “take the beautiful boy to the emergency room!” should be “Take the beautiful boy to the emergency room!”
In addition, I would like to comment that you can improve on your style of writing. Always, you would Person: blabla “...”. But, personally, I find it confusing. Perhaps, you can expand it into full sentences. For example, (Changmin: Face turns green "Don’t you ever drive again!"). You can actually expand the sentence into [Changmin’s face turned green with horror, “Don’t ever drive again!”.] In this way, the readers can “see” the image you are conveying, better. They can understand better and enjoy the story more, if the details of your story are more intricate. Is that alright? :D
Last but not least, I would discourage you to use words like “fucking” because some readers might feel uncomfortable. =)

Overall Enjoyment: 18/20

Yeah, I must admit, I really enjoy myself when I read your story! It is humorous and cute, especially Changmin! Hahas. Good job! Keep it up! =DD

Reader Friendly: 5/5

Good work! I’m glad to see that you’re friendly to your readers! That’s very good. Keep it up! :DD

Bonus mark!
Link back to Us: 0/3

OOPS. Sorry, I’m unable to give you the marks because you didn’t link Midnight-Tree. Remember to link us now! www.midnight-tree.co.nr
Thank you very much! =)

Total: 73

Additional Remark: Thank you for requesting a fanfic review at Midnight Tree. I like your story, for it is very creative and interesting. As long you request for a poster and edit your grammar mistakes, I’m sure your fanfic worth more than 73! Feel free to request again! I think you deserve a better mark, because now, you have not completed your fanfic yet. Good luck with your fanfic!