Thursday, November 29, 2007

Forget The Unforgotten



Title: Forget The Unforgotten
Author: Fvone =)
Reviewed by: Natasha

Title = 9/10
Interesting and unique title!!! Attract reader’s attention easily.

Creativity of the story = 18/20
Mmmm, romance!! So far, I have not read across any fanfic, which started off like that. But, I love the way you describe the atmosphere and expression of the characters.
Posters & background = 8 /10
The font and the colour of the words enable readers to continue reading the chapters, without hurting the eyes. As for the poster, it’s lovely and the black background really matches the poster
Casts used = 4/5
Hebe and Aaron??? Although this pairing is commonly seen in Winglin, but it can be considered one of my favourite pairing too. Hahahah XD

Originality= 18/20

I love how the story goes when at the beginning Hebe meet Arron in such an awkward situation. At the old lift with silence filling the air. Then how Hebe takes care of Arron when he’s in hospital. That so sweet!! The most shocking was how Arron’s ex girlfriend, Selina, have a relationship with Ella.

Storyline/plotting = 18 /20

You have a pretty interesting foreword that attracts my attention. The plot is finely written with a great range of vocabulary. Thumb up for you!! Smooth flow in the storyline and I love the way you build up the suspense and romance in the story.
Spelling/Grammar = 4/5
Spotted error in two chapters – 1 and 6. In chapter 1, paragraph 3, it’s stated, “She left him for another girl.” Instead, I think it should be “He left her for another girl.”In chapter 6, paragraph17, the “ex- conflict” should be corrected to “ex-convict” instead.Overall, the grammar and vocabulary is good.

Overall enjoyment = 10 /10
I’m not really a big fan of Arron and Hebe, but I really did enjoy this fanfic. It's great so keep on updating, especially when O’s Level is already over! I’m very anxious to know what will happen next since Arron’s father is Uncle Ben and I’m also anticipating patiently for the relationship between Arron and Hebe to blossom.

Total: 89

Let Me Be Your Guardian Angel

Title: Let Me Be Your Guardian Angel

Author: by Angel15

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/angel1501/

Reviewed by: Lamer_

Title = 8/10

Lovely title.. It did attract my attention when I first read it.. Suit the theme and mood of the story.. It does reveal a little about the story.. :)

Cast = 4/5

Lovely casting.. I love it a lot..

Foreword = 7/10

Lovely start.. It does reveal a little of what will happen in the story.. Keep the reader interested of reading the story.. It also let us know why you choose the title for the story.. Nice one.. I feel you mean need to add in a little more detail to spice up the foreword to be more interesting..

Poster & Background = 0/10

Well.. You have no poster or background for your story.. So sorry I have to give u a 0 for that..

Plot = 12/15

Your plot was pretty interesting.. The story flow was good.. But during some part, I find it a bit rush and bored.. Maybe you should add in more emotion for your character so that readers will feel how the character feels at that moments.. For example like, if Show aka Xiao Zhu was jealous, you can add in like the green monster of jealously is eating up him and turning him into a angry and sad person.. Well, That was just my personal views on emotion parts.. Hope you don’t get offend by it.. Sometime you can create a little cliff-hanger on the end to keep reader in suspense so they will by more anxious about reading the story.. I like to mark you up for some parts, like you made details about the events happening around but some part I deduct marks for it because you tend to rush into things for some events..

Originality & Creativity = 10 /15

Your story is interesting but the originality isn’t too much in it.. Your story sound like those romance story around winglin but your creativeness help out a bit.. You add in detail info for events and humor scenes which add marks to it.. I suggest you add in more feeling and emotional events into the detail to attract the readers heart and let them be like in the events.. Marks are taken of because of the lack of rriginality but I can see you tried your best in the creativity part..

Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 7.5/10

Found pretty much mistake in it..
Spelling mistake has a lot of part..
Like you tend to spell ok in sort form like K..
Do be careful for that mistake..
But overall..
It’s still all right..

Overall enjoyment = 17/20

I did enjoy the story.. It’s lovely and nice.. The part when Show tease and play with Jolin made me laugh sometimes.. How romantic Show is also touches my heart.. The detail info for the events also made me enjoy every moment of the story.. But.. As I mention time above.. Do try to add in more feeling and emotional for the character to spice up the whole story..

Reader Friendly = 5/5

Nice interaction with the readers.. Clearing they love the story very much.. Great job.. Full marks for you.. :)

Bonus Mark!
Link Back To Us: 0/3

Total: 70.5

Monday, November 26, 2007

Jampe

Fanfic Title: Jampe
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Jampe/
Author: A.P.M.
Reviewed By: Lovie

Title: 10/10

Interesting title. So, it meant angel? It is cool. I like it very much. :)

Cast: 4/5

This is a fictional story, but I did like the characters in this story. Actually, I will encourage authors to fictional characters because it allows space for imagination. :]

Foreword: 10/10

Thank for including a summary in your forewords. It certainly manages to interest me, wanting to read more because it really sounds interesting. =) Also, the character introduction allows me to know who the main character is.

Poster and Background: 0/10

I’m sorry, but I really can’t give any good grade for this section. The background is really plain. It would help if you include a picture of an… angel? It would be the best if you could request for a poster. Posters, backgrounds or even pictures can help to spice up the webpage, and the mood of the story. Hope you will accept my feedback. =]

Plot: 11/15

Personally, I think that the story flow is smooth. But, as for the organization of ideas, there is room for improvement. I think that it would help if you can end your chapter in the middle of the climax, keeping your reader in suspense. For example, when Jampe is going to be knocked down by another oncoming car, you can end the chapter. That would keep the readers in suspense, and making them wanting to read more. Is that ok? :D

Originality and creativity: 15/15

I would comment this is rarely seen on Winglin, although there are some other authors are writing the same storyline. Personally, I like stories on science fiction - the time dimension. And, the way you choose your cast, Katie, a normal schoolgirl as the main lead, is interesting. Also, the main theme of the story is on friendship, which is rarely seen on winglin as well.

Language (Spelling and Grammar): 7/10

So far, there are only some spelling mistakes, for example, “withing” and “ypu”.

As for grammar, there are some mistakes too. For example, [you idiot you say you weren't going to died]. It should be [you aren’t going to die]. Also, [The wedding was going to be hold in 6 more month], it should be [The wedding is going to be held in 6 more months] instead.

Punctuation wise, you can improve more too. For example, [After a year of Cho and Shin's wedding they recieve something they never expected], it should be [After a year of Cho and Shin’s wedding, they receive something they have never expected.].

Language structure is important too. I think that there seemed to be too many dialogues in the story. Perhaps, you can replace “yep”, “ok” with a nod. Or, you can rephrase your dialogues to make them interesting. For example, [Cho: AH!!!! ... what was that!]. You can rephrase it into [“AH!!! What was that?!” Cho gave a high-pitched scream, which pierced right into my eardrums.]

Also, you must remember to use the Caps appropriately. For example, [the cause was a car accident]. It should be [The cause was a car accident].

Overall, the mistakes aren’t too bad though. Hope you will accept my feedbacks! =D

Overall enjoyment: 16.5/20

I like this story! It was interesting alright. You knew exactly, how to engage the readers in emotions, for example, when Jampe died. The lyrics included did manage to enhance emotions in readers. But, there are some parts which are quite superfluous, and boring, for example, the first chapter, where Jampe’s classmates are asking for her name. Perhaps, you can change it to Cho asking Jampe instead. The two of them are the main leads after all. Still, I like this story! Simple, yet sweet and touching.

Reader friendly: 3.5/5

You did thank the readers! =)

Bonus: 0/3

I’m sorry for not being able to give you the bonus marks. Please remember to link us, Midnight-tree!

Total: 77

Extra comments: It’s a nice story. I like it very much. =DD

High School Agents


Title: High School Agents

Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Sheepoling1/

Author : Sheepoling

Review By: Nastasha

Title: 6/ 10

There’s a story in the past which shared same title as you. However, the title is still a bit boring.

Cast Used: 3/5

Common but still, I’m satisfied with the pairings.

Foreword: 4/10

Very brief descriptions. Although at the first few chapters, you did add it the bio data of the characters, but still there’s bit of confusion for some readers.

Poster & Background: 7/ 10

The poster was average only. Pictures on the poster do not match the casts’ identity or character. But the colour of the words is visible on the black background. It matches well and enables readers to continue reading despite long period of time.

Plot: 12/15

I like the way how it goes. Especially with the teasing and humor from Snow. And how the cool Chun plans his strategy against his father. Furthermore, the jealousy from Ariel is interesting too. Loves the double personality.

Originality & Creativity: 12/15

Although it’s not as creative as other stories I read, but this is considered a great feat. I got nothing much to criticize about it because different people have different style in writing.

Language (Spelling and Grammar): 6/ 10

So far so good. I have not spotted any spelling error at the moment. Probably you can improve the sentence structure. There is a few which is hard to understand.

Overall Enjoyment: 11/ 20

At the beginning, it was rather boring and draggy. However, after the next few chapters, it started to get better. But the excitement for the agent “mission” was kind of short.

Reader Friendly: 3/5

The bonding between readers and author is very average. Although there is a bit suspense in it, but still, at the beginning, the chapters were kind of confusing and boring.

Total: 64/100

Once Upon A Summer




Once Upon A Summer
Url: http://winglin.net/fanfic/iknownot/
Author:by iknownot
Reviewed by: Keleos

First Impressions
Title ~ 6/10
The title is reminiscent of some of Nicholas Sparks’ works, that’s the first impression I got when I first saw the fic’s title. I’m not terribly impressed with such a title, to be honest. It doesn’t really capture what the whole story is about, so it’s not really being very effective as a whole. Nevertheless, it earns a 6 because it just sounds alright and average.

Posters & background ~ 7/10
The poster is rather interesting, and the myriad of oranges, reds and yellows makes the whole thing have an interesting texture. I have a question though, why those colours? The poster seems more “autumn” than “summer”, complete with the migrating birds in a distance. But it’s since a beautiful poster, and it attracts the reader to keep on reading. I have issues with the background and text colour though, because I’d have preferred something that was more coloured, to show that you’d have put some thought into the choosing and the entire “marketing” of your fic.

Foreword ~ 4/10
The foreword says nothing at all, so it’s really difficult to judge what the entire fic is about. I was not impressed by your first chapter either, because the way the whole thing was written made it seems as if the fic was going to be one of the more clichéd, romantic fics that was set in a template. So… The starting impression as a whole was not really very interesting.

Upon closer examination…
Storyline/plotting ~ 9/15
I suspect you know what I’m about to write. It’s terribly clichéd! Not in a terribly bad sort of way, because I’m going to assume you’re a girl, and it’s definitely a girl’s prerogative to imagine that she could have a romance like that (sigh… :P). Storyline doesn’t score too well here, in that case. It’s predictable, so I tended to miss out some of the details and move on to the next chapter quickly.

I’m scoring highly for plotting, because it seems to me that you know what you’re going to write next, and the whole thing has been planned out carefully. Which is really good, because there’s only one main storyline going on at one time. It’s good for the flow, and I enjoyed reading it the way it was written. I’m easily confused, but this one definitely worked for me, so that’s really nice.

Cast used ~ 3/5
There’s an obvious lack of creativity in the cast chosen, because there’re no cross pairings between various artistes or groups of people. It’s just DBSK, and the lead girl is a made-up own character. Granted that it is actually easier to create a tailor-made character to suit the various personalities and characteristics of the lead males, but I was frankly, a little disappointed in the casting as a whole. There could have been more creativity in the pairing, and even with the choosing of the minor characters (like Min Hyuk and Hae Rin) to include a wider variety of real life actors and singers. It gives more room for the reader to imagine how he or she really looks like in real life, and connect better with the whole story. Also, I’m a little disconcerted at the lack of dimension of the characters, because they all seem to be straightforward, straight-thinking characters with the lack of nuances in them Which makes the story a tad boring.

Language ~ 6/10
I find fault a lot on spelling and grammar, so you must, must, must really forgive me on this! I realise that English is not you first language, and I’m giving leeway for that. But the mistakes in grammar and spelling here and there break the flow of the writing and plot, and sometimes, I find myself picking out grammar and syntax problems without concentrating too much on the story itself! Overall, it’s still readable, though, but because the flow is spoilt, I can’t give higher than a 6.

Readability ~ 3/5
The style is fine, really. But the problems mentioned above mars the overall readability.

Overall feel… So far.
Creativity of the story ~ 8/15
Once again, the story wasn’t anything special. It was very much like one of the Taiwanese dramas that we often get, and the fact that the characters did not stand out in their personalities very much did not help to fix that. The overall love story, without much of a plot other than that, allowed for no room for the reader to be able to engage more in the story, which is really a pity.

The saving grace for the entire story comes in two forms. Firstly, the character Andre. I’m glad you wrote such a character in, because it allows for the story to stand out from the others and be different. A dead twin brother? No one really writes that sort of thing very much. It shows the emotional part of the story, and aids for the relationship between Yunho and Alex, which is really sweet. Two, is the character Max. I’m not exposed much to Korean fics, but I definitely liked the scenes which Max was in. He was the person that had a fully developed character, and it really is wonderful to see that. He was an adorable character, complete with his eating and his wacky temperament. Yay to that!

Overall enjoyment ~ 14/20
Well… Overall, the story was alright. I can’t find any major fault with the whole thing, and it was really a read that was moderately enjoyable. There were a couple of scenes that I did in fact, fast-forward, for instance, I did fast-forward most of Chapter 29. BUT! There were also scenes which I found terrificly sweet, like the scene which Indra sends the video out to Alex, allowing her to see what Andre would have said to her for her birthday on tape. It was a rather enjoyable read, as a whole. J

Don’t worry, keep on writing. There are so many scenes inside that touched me, but there could be whole chapters that could have been removed entirely. But as a whole, it was a nice story! JJ

Overall review scoring: 60/100 J

Love Have no reasons

Love have no reasons
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/forensia/
Written by: forest330
Reviewed by: imgnts

Title: 7/10
Well first off, the title of the story has some grammar mistakes. Secondly, since your story has just begun, the title may not seem to be relating to the story as much yet, so I gave you a 7 on it. But I’m sure you’ll be able to get to that as the story progresses on.

Cast Used: 5/5
I like how you used some real actors but also at the same time, had some fictional characters in it as well, it’s quite creative that way and you won’t be biased in a way since in a lot of stories I’ve reviewed, a lot of people tend to have cliché’s such as this person always goes with that person and “that person” is always the enemy of that person.. etc.

Foreword: 10/10
It was good the way you described a bit of the story, and what conflicts the main character might face but you just gave some examples, not ideas or revealing your story. I also like how you described each character briefly.

Poster & Background: --/10
You don’t really have a poster so I’ll deduct the mark from the total so it won’t be unfair to you. But you can always request a poster from our site’s awesome poster makers =)

Plot: 12/15
Your plot is really good, and I like the kind of plot you used, well at least I personally like these types of fictional stories. Also, I like the idea how you used fictional characters with real actors to make the story more interesting.

Originality & Creativity: 12/15
I like your plot but somehow, it seems like a bunch of Taiwanese dramas all bunched together, like a bit of this and a bit of that show. For example, the IQ idea reminds me of “It Started With A Kiss” and the way how it’s a smart girl going into a rich school reminds me of “Meteor Garden – Japanese Version” (that’s the only version I watched).

Spelling & Grammar: 9/10
Your title should be “Love has no reasons” instead of “Love have no reasons” since reasons is in plural form but other than that, good job on spelling as well as grammar, and it’s easier to use conversational methods for stories since it’s easier than writing in POVs or in paragraphs.

Overall Enjoyment: 15/20
After reading the first two chapters, I already like it :) It’s a nice story with a good plot, except that since it’s quite near the beginning, it might be even better when it hits the climax I’m sure, and then you’ll have tons of readers ! So keep the story going, I’m sure more readers will come :)

Reader Friendly: 0/5
You didn’t reply to any comments, even if there was only one.

Total: 70/90

Bonus: 0/3 – Link back to us !

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Poetically Pathetic


Fanfic Title: Poetically Pathetic

Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/poet_pathetic/

Reviewed by: Lovie

Title: 8/10

This is an interesting title. I was attracted to it. It sounded very sad. But, I didn’t quite get, how it is related to the story. Perhaps, it will be revealed soon, as the story unfolds. Still, I would like to comment that your title is original and eye-catching. :]

Cast used: 5/5

Personally, I really like this pairing very much, because it is rarely seen on Winglin. I would actually encourage authors to try out different pairings. And, I would like to comment that this is a nice try out. Interesting indeed. =)

Forewords: 7/10

This foreword is quite alright. But, you can probably improve on it by giving a brief summary or prologue to keep suspense. In that way, readers would read on to find out more. :D

Poster and Background: 9/10

Oh yes, this is the one! I like the poster very much! The colours and effects used, has enhanced the mood of the story. It did give readers a feeling of “Poetically Pathetic”. Perhaps, it would help if you add a background? Maybe, it can help to spice up the mood. :)

Plot: 13/15

Your storyline and plot is good. But, because the story is unfinished, it’s hard for me to review.

Still, I would like to comment for your hard work. The organization of ideas is neat and well-planned, keeping readers in suspense, and wanting to read more. The story flow is smooth too, where the ideas are easily perceived.

Originality and creativity: 13/15

I like the way you fix up different characters and bringing them together, especially Ashin as a DJ. This plot is rarely seen. I would love to understand a DJ’s life and see how their lives are like…

Language (Spelling and Grammar): 10/10

So, far, I didn’t spot any spelling or grammar mistakes at all. Good job! Anyway, I got to comment that, you have a beautiful language. The descriptions were intricate. Certainly, you can write better chapters, isn’t it? Keep up the good work though! =D

Overall enjoyment: 18/20

Overall, I love reading your story! It is a wonderful one! I really did enjoy myself, having a good laugh when the three guys were teasing each other… And, I like the way you add Chun and Ella to spice up the story. Keep up the good job!

Reader friendly: 2/5

Not to worry, my dear friend. You will soon have readers popping in after awhile. Wait patiently! But, you can have my word. I will definitely stay tuned to this! :DD

Bonus: 3/3

Thanks for linking Midnight tree. This bonus marks are for you! Hehes. =P

Total: 88

Extra comments: I would suggest that you send this story for a review again, because it is currently uncompleted. It would definitely fairer to you if reviewers judge it, based on a completed story. Remember to keep up the good work! Good luck to you! =DD

Friday, November 23, 2007

我们说好的 [The Promise] (2)



Title: 我们说好的 [The Promise]
Author: by ZeNd
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lucifera/
Reviewed by: imgnts

Title: 7/10
The title sounds really meaningful, but since you haven’t finished the story yet, I think that’s why the title doesn’t seem to be related to the story yet.

Cast Used: 4/5
So for your casts, you have made it clear in the beginning, but maybe because some of their names are quite similar.. and that I don’t really know much about Korean artists, so I sometimes get it mixed up, but that’s just me haha, but good job on your pick on characters. One thing is that, you might want to pick fewer main characters because it might be confusing at times.

Foreword: 7/10
In the forewords, you described each character briefly but you could maybe have added a touch of the stories’ plot as well to keep character’s interest? But other than that, I think it was well done and you gave credits to your poster maker.

Poster & Background: --/10
I can’t see your poster so I would deduct 10 marks from the final mark since it won’t be fair if I just give you 0 because I can’t see the poster. But I can give some feedbacks on the background colour as well as font colour. I personally think that the background colour matches the story quite well since it’s kind of mysterious and the font makes it even more of a thriller story and the colour isn’t too hard to read so good choice of colour =)

Plot: 15/15
Your plot is definitely really interesting, I’m sure it would capture a lot of reader’s interests because who knows who JaeJoong will go with in the end – would it be BoA or TaeYeon? And would BoA come back to JaeJoong since she still loves her? Those were good questions you mentioned in the forewords that would definitely increase reader’s curiosity about the story.

Originality & Creativity: 15/15
I have personally never really read any stories similar to this storyline or plot.. or even if I have, it might have been too long to remember haha but this is going really well, keep it going!

Spelling & Grammar: 7/10
You can fix on some spelling mistakes for example, you tend to use “quiet” instead of “quite” I caught that a lot of times while reading your story. And some grammar mistakes such as using the right words.. etc. But I still understood your story so I guess it’s not too bad.

Overall Enjoyment: 16/20
When I read your story, I personally kept getting confused between all the characters. Sometimes I’d understand when you mention who’s POV the thoughts are in, but sometimes you don’t really write it out, so I’m wondering, is it in narrative form or is it in someone’s POV?

Reader Friendly: 5/5
You’ve replied to the comments and answered questions asked in your comment box, good job!

Total: 76/90
Bonus: 0/3 – Link back to us for bonus marks !

__________
Note: Due to a breakdown of communication, the webmistresses made a misktake by forward your request to 2 different reviewer. And since they already did their job, I decided to post both imgnts and keleos work up! kudos to them both since both was reviewed reasonably well and we're very sorry about that!*that a review was done twice* lol

我们说好的 [The Promise]



Title: 我们说好的 [The Promise]
Author: by ZeNd
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lucifera/
Reviewed by: Keleos

First Impressions
Title ~ 9/10
I feel awfully ashamed for putting this story off before I watched the music video. On first impression, the title is clichéd and terribly common amongst all the fics. It doesn’t stand out at all, and the fact that there is a Chinese title next to the English one made me a little confused, because I wasn’t sure which language this one was in. BUT! Upon watching the video, I AGAIN had the misconception that the fic was going to be based entirely on the plot in the video, which, again, I was wrong. The video, together with the first chapter and foreword puts the whole thing in perspective, and I’d say, well done for the title. It’s very meaningful.

Posters & background ~ 6/10
The poster is a little weird for a story that is so emotional, and the green background with the two characters doesn’t capture what the story is about. It’s effective, yes, but nothing more than that. In fact, if we were to look at the poster only, I suppose a reader might think it’s a sci-fi fic instead? Not very good for the fic. Kudos to the solid background, though, but the colour of the text makes things a little more difficult. Red makes it overly angst, and it cuts off the emotional, pining side of the whole fic.

Foreword ~ 8/10
The first chapter is an introduction, which doesn’t set the plot. But no matter for this fic! It’s a good start, because it sets the video in perspective, like I said earlier. Good job! But… perhaps you might want to put a note there for people to look at the MV before reading the fic. Before you watch it and after you watch it, things really become different.

Upon closer examination…
Storyline/plotting ~ 9/15
The story is a bit patchy; maybe it’s because you’re trying to put together alternating timelines into one story, making the whole expression rather convoluted. The story started out fine, but the second chapter made me a little confused as to where the main plot actually lies. SungMin’s plan appears out of the blue, there’s the high school story, and there’s the love element between Jae and BoA. Which makes the whole thing rather messy. I’m not sure, but your footnotes at the bottom betray a lack of planning, or maybe it’s because you changed plans along the way? But overall, it gives a feeling of a lack of focus for your storyline.

On the plus side, though, the later chapters are getting better, and the plot is getting more defined. I guess it’s really about managing the various plotlines, and it’s starting to show, so yay! JJJ

Cast used ~ 4/5
I’m not really into Korean pairings, but what I can say about this fic is that all the relationships seem pretty realistic to me. They seem as if they can truly happen in real life. Maybe it’s because I’m not too sure as to what the real actors and singers are like, so it’s much easier for me to see where you’re coming from for each of their personalities. And yes, they’re all very interesting. Each of your cast has a defined personality of his or her own, and that’s really something that shines out. J

Language ~ 4/10
If there’s anything I’ve got to fault you on, it’s the language. You’ve made certain comments about your grammar as well, so I just you’re aware. J The thing is, reading a piece like this, which is on the emotional side, yet not being able to read it with proper language, makes is a real pity. So I guess… L

Readability ~ 4/5
It’s clear for the style, and there isn’t any confusion as to who’s doing what and talking when. So, yay! Only gripe is the [____POV] thing that you use. It breaks the flow of the story a bit, and disrupts the whole thing. But just a bit. J

Overall feel… So far.
Creativity of the story ~ 10.5/15
The fic concept isn’t extremely creative, but it scores high here because of the MV link. I really love that little link between the two stories, and for it to be a continuation of an MV instead of a standalone, or a continuation of a show (like HanaKimi). That’s very refreshing, and they way you wrote it let the both stories fit in seamlessly, so that’s a really cool thing!

Overall enjoyment ~ 10/20
The fic scores lowly on the overall enjoyment because of the patchy storyline in the front. By the time we hit Chapter 7 and the plot begins to come together, it’s already a little too late. In fact, there would be readers who would give up before reaching Chapter 7, which is a real pity. For Chapter 7 onwards, though, kudos! It’s really starting to look like what people who truly expect of a fic like this, and I found myself really looking forward to the next few Chapters.

Don’t worry, keep writing! It’s starting to look really interesting! J

Overall review scoring: 63.5/100 J
__________
Note: Due to a breakdown of communication, the webmistresses made a misktake by forward your request to 2 different reviewer. And since they already did their job, I decided to post both imgnts and keleos work up! kudos to them both since both was reviewed reasonably well and we're very sorry about that!*that a review was done twice* lol

World of Mystery and Magical


Author: Skygals
Title: World of Mystery and Magical
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/skybreeze/
Reviewed by: Keleos

First Impressions
Title ~ 7/10
The title is definitely catchy. It’s catchy because it’s different from the others, nestled amongst the other fics that refer to relationships that spell out the plot before the story even begins. This would have caught my eye if it were stuck in a long list of fanfics that I was supposed to review, and it’s something I would have started off first. J It spells a fic that could be potentially interesting and exciting at the same time.

Yet again, you earned an 7 because Magical seems to be a little…grammatically wrong? I’m not sure if that’s done on purpose, but it blocks the magic that the title should be expelling. 8 for an effective, interesting title that caught my eye. J

Posters & background ~ 10/10
All I can say about the poster is… wow. It captures all three elements of the story (that, according to your foreword), the titular characters from the East, the Hogwarts students and the school itself, where the story’s set. And it’s so beautiful as well (not to mention that Edison Chen is one hell of a hottie *g*)! I love the way it blends into the black background. And yes, I’m not a fan of background pictures as well, so a solid black background definitely earns a big nod from me. J And the words are all in wonderful colours as well.

Foreword ~ 9/10
The story starts off interestingly. I like the way the whole thing starts off. The “cold, snowy night” beginning is far from clichéd, but in fact the simplicity works very well for the whole thing. J It doesn’t get full score because the foreword was a little too confusing, and if I weren’t a reviewer, it might have put me off enough not to give the rest of the fic a chance. But nevertheless, it’s a good first start. J

Upon closer examination…
Storyline/plotting ~ 9.5/15
The storyline seems to be going along just fine, and developing quite nicely too! It’s not completed yet, but I can see that it’s going to get really exciting, especially since the whole thing is set in a magical kingdom – it gives you a lot of freedom to experiment with different things, as well as have as imaginative a plot as you want. Kudos to that!

I have a slight problem with the sequence of events though. It seems that events keep jumping out, just out of the blue, without any form of foreshadowing. It occurred when the fact that the trio are there for a reason is a revealed (previously I thought that they were there, just like any other student) and also when Edison goes to look for Gillian in the forest (it seemed that her sadness was a sudden thing. I’m not sure if it was supposed to be that way, but it seems rather sudden). Also, the linking is a little problematic. Chapter 13 and 14 exemplifies that, because there’s no link between the events in 13 and 14. It makes the story seem disjointed, which is a real pity.

Cast used ~ 4/5
I like the Edison-Gillian pairing a lot. It’s so sweet, and they look so good together. Actually, the whole cast looks really good! The only gripe I have about the story is that there’re too many characters, with alternating names (like you said in the foreword, it’s a tad confusing already). But as the story moves along, the reader gets used to the characters, and the oddness about having Hong Kong stars in Hogwarts, so that’s fine after a while. Another plus point. I initially did not like the idea of having a Alternate Universe fic like the one you wrote, but you worked the cast in such a way that the whole thing becomes very natural, which is really great!

Language ~ 6/10
I’m prissy about spelling and grammar, so you really must forgive this. Spelling, on the whole, is accurate and good, so I won’t find fault in that. But grammar, on the other hand, throws up a bit of a challenge here and there. Stuff like “a black eye at his eyes” (Chapter 14) and “Especially when she’s Lucius Malfoy apple of the eye!” (Chapter 9). Also, watch the syntax of some of the speech to prevent it from becoming too colloquial. Remember that you’re still in Hogwarts, so you’ve got to make it sound like they’re all in there, and not in a normal, Taiwanese/Singaporean/Malaysian school. J

Readability ~ 4/5
It’s readable, save for a few slip ups here and there. In general, not many problems here. J

Overall feel… So far.
Creativity of the story ~ 11/15
The fic definitely scores high on creativity because it allows the mashing of both East and West. That’s already and interesting idea. I’ve read some fics that use the same concept, but very few have managed it comfortably. But as I’ve said earlier, you’ve managed to pull it off. So congrats!

I can’t give you a full score here because the whole plot isn’t really fully developed yet, even after you’ve written 15 chapters. Granted that the chapters are short, but since 15 chapters is rather long already, the whole plot should be already made known to the readers. It isn’t a full score because I haven’t seen all the pairings and the full plot, so I can’t really judge yet.

Overall enjoyment ~ 11/20
You score rather lowly in this section because the overall enjoyment factor is there. The fic is definitely novel in its concept, the fact that it composes of the mashing of the two civilisations. But in enjoyment, we’re talking about the X factor that gives the story its extra bite. In this one, I only see the concept as the one that stands out, and the rest just fail to impress very much. L The relationships between the characters seem rather promising at the beginning, but it doesn’t continue to develop, and the whole thing falls into something that is rather bland and clichéd. The storyline shows interesting elements, but it’s not really completed, so I can’t judge for it just yet.

The fic shows a lot of promise, but it doesn’t work on that potential to make it a truly outstanding fic.

Overall review scoring: 71.5/100 J

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Black and White, Love and Hate


Author: ltrrcrazy
Title: Black and White, Love and Hate
Reviewed by Natasha
Title: 7/ 10
The title of your story “Black and White, Love and Hate” totally fulfill the storyline even though the words ‘black and white’ gives a clear indication of what the story is going to be about.
Cast Used: 5/5
Despite the casts and pairings were quite common in Winglin, but its’ still quite interesting to see them again. Besides the TVB stars, other idols such as Edison, Gillian and Leo are also included in this story, starring as minor casts too.
Foreword: 6/10
Introduction is too brief. However, it can be further improved if you make use of the forewords to introduce the development of your characters and the story.
Poster & Background: 6/ 10
I think some pictures of the casts does not suit the story. For example, Ron and Charmaine’s pictures. In this story, Ron is a gang leader, so obviously his character in it will be those suave and calm headed type. I don’t really get the ‘feel’ of it upon seeing his picture on the poster. The same goes for Charmaine. Except that she’s more to the ‘law by law, book by book’ Madam and those ambitious type.

Plot: 13/15
The plot was good. All I know it keeps me engrossed a lot! Especially when you portray the relationship of the casts extremely well regardless of love, friendship or brotherhood. There’s always some climax in it, which make me anticipate what will happen next. Most importantly, it’s unlike other stories on Winglin, which usually end it with a ‘happily ever after’ ending. But rather, excluding the fact that you continue a sequel, the ending for every casts is consider quite well written Big thumbs for you!

Originality & Creativity: 12/15
Sometimes, I can’t help comparing your story with some scenes from HK dramas and some movies. But anyway, your storyline was very engaging. And you build some suspense in it too, therefore, making it very original.

Language (Spelling and Grammar): 7/ 10
So far so food, I have not spotted any spelling mistakes or typo error. However there are a few parts, which I think you can do better in improving the sentence structure.

Overall Enjoyment: 18/ 20
I absolutely LOVE this story so much!! Although I’m more a big fan to EG, but the story and the castings for it really make me fall in love with your story so much that I got to chase after your sequel now.
Reader Friendly: 4/5
I’ve seen those comments left at your site and I think is a big plus! Obviously your readers clearly enjoy reading this story! That’s why they have such strong emotions over the death of Ron and the ending too. The bond between you and your readers pretty much speaks for itself. =)
Bonus mark!
Link back to us: 0/3 (can consider giving you 2 marks if you link us in your sequel since you completed your prequel already XD)
TOTAL: 78/100

Last Angel

Title: Last Angel
Author: by kimotochiaki
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/akimotochiaki3/
Reviewed by: Lamer_

Title = 9/10
Nice Title.. Lovely..

Cast = 4/5
Well.. I hardly read up about Korean artistes fanfic.. But nice casting..

Foreword = 7/10
Doesn’t said much about the story.. But it’s a lovely start.. Nice one..

Poster & Background = 0/10
Well.. U currently have no poster and background.. So I have no choice to give u a 0.. Sorry about it..

Plot = 13/15
Nice plot use.. Like the flow of the story.. Nice job done..

Originality & Creativity = 12 /15
Interesting storyline and nice casting.. Lovely flow of the story.. Nice job..

Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 8/10
Found some mistake.. Like..
You like to spell favorite in short form- fav..
But overall still all right..

Overall enjoyment = 17/20
I did enjoy the story.. It’s lovely and nice.. Continue to update it.. :)

Reader Friendly = 5/5
The writer is very friendly and reply the readers.. Great job.. :)

Bonus Mark!
Link Back To Us: 0/3

Total: 75

Office Politics


Title: Office Politics
Author: by xuwen
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/xuewen2
Reviewed by: Lamer_

Title = 10/10
Nice Title.. Lovely.. It does really suit your story theme.. The name is short and easy to remember, caught my attention when I first read it.. Great Job..

Cast = 5/5
Although you use Chun and Ella as your cast, Your story attracts me a lot with the unique and lovely ways of your writing.. A full marks for you..

Foreword = 10/10
A lovely foreword by you.. It credits whomever that it needs to be credited… And you explained the story will be written in unique ways of e-mail-ing, IMs, text message, blog post and etc.. And it’s a great ways of starting a new story.. So a full marks to you..

Poster & Background = 10/10
Lovely Poster and background used.. It suit the mood of the story.. The colour you use for the words doesn’t hurt the readers eye unlike some.. Great Job done..

Plot = 15/15
A full marks for you yet again.. It’s amazing.. I love the plot.. Superb.. The amazing vocabulary you use and those twist and turn really interest me till the end.. Great job done..

Originality & Creativity = 15 /15
Lovely storyline and Great casting.. I never know working can be so fun with playing e-mails, IM-ing, calls and etc.. It brighten up the whole dull life of working.. The excellent flow of the story and the fantastic vocabulary use brighten up the whole story.. Those twist and turn really take me on to a new level of enjoyment.. Great job done.. SO a lovely full marks for u again, You really deserve it.. Brilliant work..

Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 10/10
Another Full marks for you.. I can hardly spot any mistake.. Great job done.. Thumb up

Overall enjoyment = 20/20
Lovely story.. I really enjoy every minute reading it.. The brilliant storyline and excellent flow made my reading an enjoyable time.. The twist and turn in the story take me on and surprise me with unexpected result.. It’s a great experience reading your story.. Great Job done..

Reader Friendly = 5/5
The writer is very friendly and reply the readers.. Great job.. :)

Bonus Mark!
Link Back To Us: 0/3

Total: 100

Sunday, November 4, 2007