Cookies & Cream (Christmas Special)

Title: Cookies & Cream (Christmas Special)
Author: tinted_
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/tintedgold
Reviewed By: Lone Ranger

Title: 9/10
I like it =) Makes me hungry too. Moreover, after I am done with reading the story, I do see how Cookies and Cream is linked to the story and the characters which makes this title very apt.

Poster&Background: 6/10
I shan't comment about the background as there is none but the poster seems to not really suit the story and graphically wise, it wasn't really beautiful either. So yea. Maybe you want to change a poster?

Foreword: 8/10
I like the how you used cookies and cream as an introduction and how you linked it up to oreo cookies. It was light hearted, creative, yet interesting. I don't have anything against it. In fact, your introduction drew me to your story.

Cast Used: 4/5
Well, I don't read much Hong Kong artiste fics so I don't really know if this pairing is way overused or not. On the other hand, I have to comment on your the way you developed your characters. I like how you dropped little habits like how Bosco's best dish was cookies and cream (which was again a good link to the story). Also, I can see clear interaction between the characters when Bosco drives extremely fast unknowingly due to an always late Leila.

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
Honestly, this fic isn't very original or creative. It reminds me of a chick flick actually. The guy and the girl had all along liked each other but had never told each other their feelings. Then a (irritating) third party comes along. In the end everything turns out well.

Though so,you do deserve credit for setting the workplace to be a bakery (I am sick of high school stories) and that visit to the orphanage was a pretty good attempt too.

Don't get discouraged though, a non-original fic doesn't mean it's not good. While an original fic may just screw up as it is =)

Story&Plotting: 10/15
I didn't have much problems with the story. The story itself is pretty simple. The only negative comment I have is that, it wasn't special. It wasn't extremely funny, extremely heart wrenching nor does it bring the reader into whirlpools of emotions. In other words, it basically just lack the X factor.

But besides that, I guess the story's pretty good as it is.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Smooth writing. Easy to understand. Lingustically wise a very approachable fic. =)

Flow Of Story: 9/10
Very good flow. It had been a smooth sailing ride reading your fic. The introduction of new characters/plots were not choppy. I think it's also because you had a pretty simple plot to begin with. But you deserve the grades for such a smooth fic.

Writing Style: 3/5
As I have said before in the Flow section, your story's a very smooth ride. But it doesn't speak of you as a writer personally. When I grade style, I usually look out for something that speaks of the author, something that really differentiates you and from other authors. Nothing in your fic had gripped me in this manner, so yeps.

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
Nice.
A very simple yet satisfying read for the teenage girl. (since the boy and the girl ends up together at the end for a nice and sweet happy ending)

Bonus marks: 2/5
For an overall good fic =)

Total mark: 72/100

Addtional comments:
A good attempt overall. It wasn't the best fic I had ever read, but I guess it did meet my expectations for a fic. It was a light hearted read, a nice fic for a lazy sunday afternoon. Recommended for people who just want to read something happy but not deep. Sometimes deep fics do give you a headache, no?

My only complains are for your poster and maybe a little more style/X factor will make this fic better.

Do write somemore, I believe one of these days you might be able to write a really magical fic.

Reviewed by Lone Ranger @ midnight-tree.co.nr