Lies Hurt More Than Truth

Title: Lies Hurt More Than Truth
Author: Lovie
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovie
Reviewed By: Lone Ranger

Title: 8/10
Lies hurt more than truth. A playful pun on the phrase truth hurts. Insighful but it lacks the punch needed for a title. Good attempt nevertheless. Though I do believe you can also do better with the chapter titles since it's a 2 shot more than a 1-shot.

Poster&Background: 9/10
I love the poster and the background. It was a beautiful blend with beautiful colours. The petals and the watch at the background are pretty too. It is also good that the background did not block any of the words. Good job =)

Foreword: 9/10
I like the few lines you had for your forewords and how you used it again at the start of the story. It felt like a sad piece of music before the beginning the even sadder story. And the best part was that the meaning of it did not really sink in until I am done with the story. I guess you really deserved the 9 with such a thought provoking foreword.

Cast Used: 4/5
Although Hebe, Arron and Rainie are very common casts for fanfics here at winglin, but I am giving you a 4 as I enjoyed the characterisation you have done with Rainie. It makes me really want to slap her in the face. And the fact that you wrote the fic in Hebe's POV, it allowed me to get a sense Hebe as a person. Even the actions of Arron spoke something of him. Very nicely done.

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
Upon taking this story apart, there isn't much to the story besides a couple who had all along liked each other but never confessed and the then the intrusion of the 3rd party. Even the ending was well, explored in similar manners by various other authors in Winglin already. Also, the way Hebe recalled the incidents, though interesting was also experimented by other writers in Winglin.

Story&Plotting: 13/15
The plot is good but not special. But I would not double penalise you since I have already done so in the creativity section.

I liked the recollections ideas and how the different episoides flowed seamlessly together. It was very tight fic that actually protrayed a lot of pain within the characters. The episodes that you picked also showed a very good plot. Each of them had their own signficance which showed a lot of planning and plotting before hand. You made every word count in your one shot.Nice.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I don't exactly have much to say about the language. Well, it's good, it painted images. So there goes.

Flow Of Story: 8/10
Good flow. I know how the story is proceeding and although this story is done in a recollections style, I don't feel anything that is adrupt or confusing. Although it may seem that it was just a collection of incidents, I realized there was some form of chronological order to it and the incidents began to have a deeper and deeper effect on Hebe. Very very nice.

Writing Style: 4/5
I liked how the style of this fic went. You gave Hebe a voice indeed. You didn't need to describe in words but the readers can actually come out with descriptions on what she was like. Hebe felt real under your writing and I really loved it.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
This is one fic I enjoyed reading. I like the images that conjured inside my head.I remembered coming out the fic feeling a lot of regret for the Hebe and Arron. It was just a pity that they can't be together. The recollections also left a deep impact one me. And I think you deserve a lot of credit for making me(as a reader) feel that way.

Bonus marks: 3/5
I think the way you protrayed Hebe and Rainie made this story a good read. It was engaging. Moreover, you did stir up some emotions in me. So the bonus =)

Total mark: 83/100

Additional comments:
Very nice story. The only problem I had was that it wasn't really original. But in any case, it felt like a movie in sepia tone that can drive anyone to tears easily. Good poster, good language, well weavened plot, I recommend this to all readers.

It was one of the few fics in Winglin that actually had the story spinning in my head hours after I have read it. Lovely.

Thanks for painting such a beautiful (yet sad) picture using your words.

Reviewed by Lone Ranger @midnight-tree.co.nr