LOVE IS BLIND

LOVE IS BLIND
Author: shycapri8
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/eyesthatcantsee
Reviewed By: imgnts

Title: 8/10
I think your title was rather creative and it linked to your story directly, the relevance was clearly stated in your forewords when you wrote the short description on Yoochun and Changmin. Good job on thinking of the title.

Poster & Background: 6/10
Your poster is creative and I find that it’s cool how it can move and all, but while I was reading the story, I find that the poster was lagging the computer a lot and it can also be a distraction to the reader because of how the picture mixes and spins.

Foreword: 6/10
The foreword captures the main point of your story and basically tells what your story is about and all, but you could have added more creativity into the forewords.

Cast Used: 5/5
The amount of casts you used were a fair good amount, not too much and you obviously put a clear line between the major casts and the minor casts.

Originality & Creativity: 12/15
Personally, I haven’t read many stories similar to yours where one person sacrifices the eye for the person he loves.

Story & Plotting: 12/15
Your story was interesting in a way especially how Changmin can see with his heart and he eventually teaches Yoochun how to really see.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8.5/10
Just some minor past and present tense problems throughout the story, I’ve caught only a few so it’s not really that big of a problem. But I suggest you maybe want to double check or edit before posting it because sometimes, words are stuck together like “Atleast” in the first chapter.

Flow of Story: 7/10
I can tell that your story is sort of broken into parts where you go from one person’s POV to another person’s POV, which can also be totally irrelevant. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing but I suggest you maybe state either who’s POV it is or to somehow tell the readers because I got confused at some parts when I was reading it. Because in some section, you’ll have groups of friends talking and well, obviously it should be either Changmin or Yoochun’s POV, but just to make sure.

Writing Style: 3/5
You’ve mainly used dialogues to show your story but it might be less confusing if you showed in some way who said what because I got lost a few times wondering who said which lines.

Overall Enjoyment: 7.5/10
It was a bad story to read, but then I think in most parts, you could have done better, and the poster was really getting on my nerves a lot of the time because it was hard for me to even scroll down in a chapter.

Bonus marks: 2/5
For your effort to replying comments.

Total mark: 77/100

Additional Comments: Your story is in the form of both a happy and sad ending, which I find is really unique. Hope you can keep coming up with great ideas such as this one!

imgnts @ midnight-tree.co.nr