A Melodious Curse [One-Shot]

Title: A Melodious Curse [One-Shot]
Author: WZ
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/WZ2/
Reviewed By: Keleos

First Impressions
Title: 8/10
First impressions, this one caught my eye. I didn’t see this amongst the fics when it was first posted, if not I’d be sure to have clicked it. A title’s meant to stand out amongst all the fics and yours definitely had the X-factor that made it shine. Curiosity killed the cat, but it wouldn’t kill the person who clicked on the title. Pity about how it was a little boring, and risks being easily dismissed as something that’s ordinary.

Which is why it gets an 8 and not full 10 marks in this section.

Poster and Background: 10/10
This is perfect. I like everything about this, really. I’m not an art person, but this nature of the poster got me. It’s a thinking poster, at least to me, it’s a thinking one. It sets your imagination going. The poster’s a bit abstract, but I guess it does suit the mood of your whole piece, including the story. The story’s the main feature here, granted, but the moment someone clicks on the link to the contents page, your poster becomes the feature that people look and get drawn instantly to. Excellent work here.

Perhaps also a mention of your background. Background irritate me to no end, but this one is fine. I like the whispering effect it gives, so apt in a fic that spells secrecy and mystery.

Foreword: 5/10
I wouldn’t score highly, and I suspect you know why. As always, bad news first. The foreword is skimpy, and it says nothing at all as to what is going to happen in the fic. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and say that this fic comes about as something that’s not really a fic, but rather, a piece of writing, hence the foreword is pretty unnecessary. Which explains the lack of detail in your foreword. But keep in mind that you are writing a fic, no matter how different this one offers itself up to be, and an important part of the fic is the foreword. Give some background, or some characterisation, or just some rambling around that introduces your story to others and sets up the stage for the play. It shows thoughtfulness, and it shows that you respect the readers and your writing.

On the other hand though, you didn’t fail this section simply due to the fact that your writing doesn’t require a foreword. Couple that with some sort of introduction being made, and there you have it. 5 marks.

Upon closer examination…
Cast Used: 3/5
I award for cast, and I award for characterisation. This one has no recognisable cast, which I’m sorry to say, I can’t award any marks for that. But on the other hand, it has beautiful characterisation, and both personalities are handled very well. So full marks for the latter, none for the former (I’m dreadfully sorry to say). Nevertheless, how wonderful to read something like this.

Story and Plotting: 12/15
You’ve planned and you’ve told the tale. The effort you put into the whole story is obvious, starting from the very first word here. I have three things to say. Firstly, this is really a great piece of writing. It’s descriptive, and it brings the reader to a different place where he or she is. While reading it, I could almost envision the images that you’ve put into place. I’m a musician, and yes, I could hear Debussy playing in the background while I was reading your fic. Well done.

Secondly, it is admittedly, a bit abstract. As a reviewer, I can’t really tell if you mean what you say in the fic, or if it is an allusion to something bigger and larger than what is written inside. I won’t give a literary analysis of the piece, and while reviewing this, I chose to take the piece at face value (excuse me if I wasn’t supposed to), so it’s being treated as a subtle love story, coupled with excellent descriptive passages. But I guess being abstract is alright, it leaves room for the imagination to roam.

Number three, and the reason why you got a 12. I won’t say there’s no plot, or if there’s barely a plot, but it seems to me that the main focus of the whole piece is to describe. If I am correct, then yes, it has achieved its aim. The only problem is, the main purpose of storytelling is to tell a story, and this one exists on the fact that your storyline isn’t exceptionally obvious on the first read. I admit taking a few more reads before I actually began writing the review (which explains the length of time I took), and it took a slightly longer time for me to warm up to it compared to other, more straightforward fics. But as I said earlier, this isn’t necessarily bad. You’re a strong writer, and it shows up in the one.

Language: Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
Brilliant language, excellent writing, wonderful descriptions. I can’t think of anything that’s possibly bad about the piece, but I’m mean; I don’t ever give full marks for language, and this one’s no exception. *winks*
Flow of Story: 7/10
Its short story, and I understand if things flow a little faster than normal. But this one was really too fast for a very comfortable read. “Every evening forth, he waited for her by the piano, his eyes smoldering with joy upon her arrival….Nights turned to weeks as the two’s relationship expanded from mere friendship to a bonded companionship.” It seems like the relationship just happened in a span of one chapter, and it leave me wishing that you had expanded on it a little more generously. It helps in the flow of the story, and it becomes richer in the plot component as well.
Writing Style: 4/5
Abstract. I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again. This is not something that appeals to all readers, and it’s not something that should be taken lightly and read as a coffee table text on a hot Sunday afternoon. Take a step back, read it on a Saturday night with classical music in the background and in a moderately intellectual state of mind. (haha) I had to take some time to put this into perspective, really.

Overall feel…
Originality & Creativity: 13/15
It’s original! On winglin, at least. It’s amazing how a simple story like your stands out so well against the complicated plots of numerous idol drama spinoffs, or lame schemes to get the guy. I liked this one in that it was simple, yet complex at the same time. The creativity of the piece shines through. It is beautiful, haunting and well, it reminds me of water in a stream: clear, flowing and refreshing.

Excellent work.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
I enjoyed it, yes, although after a while, I decided that I should give up trying to guess what you were trying to say as a larger meaning and take the piece as it is. I don’t mean this in a bad way, because it’s so wonderfully written. But the thing about all wonderfully written books and texts is that they often have a larger, more complex theme behind it. Just look at George Orwell and Animal Farm (I’m sure you’re familiar), such a simple story, but with such a large meaning behind it and a social commentary in children’s book. This one is just like that. I couldn’t figure out what it might be trying to say, so I took it as a simple love story.

Not that it doesn’t work out well that way, because I enjoyed it as well. J

Bonus marks: 3/5
For a great read and the production notes at the back. I like the behind the scenes bit, and I wish every fic could have it. It brings the readers closer to the author. Not to mention the fact that you responded to the comments on the board as well, aptly too, and that’s very good. The other two should go to linking back to MT, which sadly, you didn’t, so… J
Total mark: 82/100
Additional Comments: I’m for slightly more emotional pieces, and this one didn’t really invoke feelings in my heart, but rather, it started my brain going. How rare. -_- Nevertheless, this IS an outstanding piece, and you’ve really written it very well! This, however, on my end, wasn’t an easy piece to review. Maybe you’d embark on slightly more accessible material in the future, and send it in for review again?

Good luck, and I’m really, really hoping to see your wonderful pieces around again.
Reviewed by Keleos@midnight-tree.co.nr