Title: 都是命运惹的'祸' － 夏紫

Title: 都是命运惹的'祸' － 夏紫
Author: Bananzasmoothie
URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/Bananzasmoothie
Reviewed By: Lovie

Title: 7/10

I like this title. It sounds cute and makes the readers want to read more. However, it is not eye-catching enough. Work harder! =)

Poster & Background: 9/10

The poster is nice. =)

Foreword: 7/10

The introduction of the story seems to reveal a typical storyline or plot of a story. However, I like the way you writes the prologue. It did manage to keep me is suspense and makes me want to read more about what will happen next because the climax seems exciting. Congratulations for keeping the readers in suspense.

Also, I thought that it would be better to introduce your characters. This will give the readers a glimpse of the characters. :)

Cast Used: 3/5

I must say that Fahrenheit is a bit overly used in Winglin. Perhaps, it would be better if you use just one or two characters as the main casts? =]

Originality & Creativity: 9/15

Your story is quite alright. But, it seems to lack of some climaxes which will interest the readers. Try to think out of the box! =]

Story & Plotting: 11/15

Like I have said before, more climaxes would be needed. Perhaps, due to the fact tat the fanfic is incomplete; your story has not hit the main action yet. I would suggest that you request for another review after you have completed your fanfic, and the fanfic reviewer can award you for the story plot based on a completed story. =)

I like the organization of ideas. Well done. =D

Spelling/ Grammar /Vocabulary: 8/10

Hmm there is one word that you will need to look out for. “Lose” and “loose”. I realised that you have used “loose” throughout the story. Do take notice of it. =)

Generally, I didn’t spot much mistakes. That was well done. Keep up the good work :D

Flow of Story: 9/10

The flow of the story is smooth. I can see that you put much effort in organizing the ideas and linking them up. That was well done. Keep it up. ^^

Writing Style: 4/5

I like the way you writes your story. Your style is unique, where you present the story from your point of view. Also, intricate details has shaped the characters really excellently. Well done!

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10

In general, I did enjoy reading your story. However, I would like to point out that there are some boring or draggy parts. Do take note of that and make necessary changes to the superfluous parts. Last but not least, I think you should add some cliffhangers to the end of each chapter to keep the readers in suspense. If not, it may seem plain.

Bonus marks: 3/5

Good efforts. Keep it up! :D

Total mark: 76/100

Additional comments: Really sorry for the late review. I know I took a long time. Really sorry.

Anyway, I sincerely hope you will accept some of my feedbacks and comments. Feel free to send me an email if you have any enquires. And, do send in for another review when your story is completed.

Last but not least, good luck to your story and keep up the good work! :DD

reviewed by(Lovie)@midnight-tree.co.nr