Lies Hurt More Than Truth

Title: [Lies Hurt More Than Truth]

Author: Lovie

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovie9/

Reviewed By: v

Title: 6/10
The title is quite interesting. But such titles are common, and not exactly outstanding enough, hence the given marks.

Poster & Background: 8/10
I like the poster and background; dark colours and a little reddish, it prepared me for the emotional story that I was about to read. However, I found it to be less emotional than what the graphics had depicted.

Foreword: 8/10
Nice forewords, I must say. The sad and questioning tone depicted in the forewords was enough to draw my interest to the story.

Cast Used: 4/5
I believe, it has been mentioned that Arron-Hebe pairing had been very much overused in Winglin. But nevertheless, the point of views of Hebe gave her a new personality. So I would say, good job on that.

And yes, I think there’s a typo error in Chapter Two. It was supposed to be Ariel, not Rainie, wasn’t it?

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
An unrequited love story, is not only commonly used in Winglin stories but even in movies and drama serials. So I guess the only way to write it well, is to write it differently from the usual manner, like, more than just love.

Story & Plotting: 10/15
I know it’s a one-shot story, and hence there’s a limit to how much you could write. But I was hoping that there would be several twists and turns along the way to keep the readers’ interest alive.

Maybe, include how everyone saw Hebe as Arron’s cousin – nothing more, that only Hebe alone saw her love for Arron growing. That would have been more emotional. With a poster and background like that, I’m sure your review scores will soar.


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
As usual, not much mistakes – except for the one I’ve pointed out earlier.

Flow Of Story: 7/10
It flows, but at times, too fast. One moment they were good friends, and the other, they were avoiding each other. And the next, Hebe was dying.

I guess I could have dismissed the loopholes (like, Hebe’s heart disease which was not mentioned and the sudden change in scenes) if it was more emotional.

Writing Style: 3/5
I do like the narrative writing style. And I think it could have been better if more descriptions were made.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
I quite enjoy it, though there were quite a few unexplained parts which resulted because the story was written in a one person’s (in this case, Hebe) point of view. A few points were deducted because I felt that a story shouldn’t end with Hebe dying, since she was the one telling the story. But overall a great fan fiction (:

Bonus marks: 3/5
Although the language used in the story to describe Hebe’s perspective of things was simple, it however made a great impact – at least, on me.

Total mark: 75/100

Additional comments:
Quite a successful attempt on a sad romance, but I feel that it could have been better. Sad romance stories are all cliché and common, and I was expecting something a little different. But nevertheless, a great fan fiction.

p/s: Sorry it took so long for this review, I didn’t receive the mail.

Reviewed by v @ midnight-tree.co.nr