Title: My Dongsaeng, My little angel
Author: by Nara Bunnie
Author: by Nara Bunnie
Reviewed by: Lamer_
Title = 8/10
The title is lovely and cute.. :) I really love how it is connected to the story.. :) Good job.. :)
Poster & Background = 8.5/10
Lovely.. :) I love the poster.. It is so sweet and cute.. Giving off the right mood that suit the story.. :) The background match well with the poster.. :) Great job to the designer.. :)
Foreword = 8/10
A great detail information of the cast list and their personailty.. Great Job.. :) I really love how you shape out the characters.. The detail really made me interested and wanting to read on to know how the story goes on.. Great Job.. :)
Cast = 5/5
No much comment on the cast.. :) Great pairing.. Characterizations wise, i can see your great effort for shaping up each character.. So, full marks..
Originality & Creativity = 12.5/15
The originailty and creativity is certainly there.. :) I like your idea of the pair of heart gold pendant(The story of it, I mean).. It's interesting how fate can play on two sibling whom was hoping to see each yet, bump into each other so much without themself realising it.. The idea was fresh and interesting.. Your creativity can be more use in the emotional aspect of the character, adding in more touching moments between the sibling.. I also greatly encourage you to let your imagination run wild.. :) I also like the cute-ness in the story.. Somehow, there is a touch of a little cute-ness in the story which made me love it, the innocents thoughts of the characters.. I greatly encourage you to add in more interaction of the character to enrich the story.. :)
Plot = 12.5/15
I like ur plotting.. There is a sense of cute-ness in it.. The interaction between the characters are all well written.. The story flow well starting how you write the foreword till now, it's all link up nicely and plotted out well.. It's not widely seem in the site with the kind of plot you used.. I really like the cute interaction between Geun Young and Ki Bum(Ok, I confess, I don't really know who they are, But, to be honest, I like how you portray them in the story).. Plot wise, i was hoping to see more twistes here and there making the story with more surprises.. :) Like i mention, i greatly encourage you too add on more interaction between the characters and more emotional aspect too.. :)
Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 8.5/10
There are not too much problem in the lanaguage for this story.. :) Just some small and understandable mistake.. :) Nothing much.. Good Job.. :)
Flow Of The Story: 9/10
The flow was smooth, all clearing written out and well planned out.. The speed was just right.. Right tempo.. Everything runs so smoothly, like a peaceful river.. Good job..
Writing Style: 4/5
Nice.. I like your writting style.. But i do have some problem with your spacing part for the chapters.. I notice you like to sort of clamp everything up into one whole paragraph.. Like this..
Its was quite windy. Geun Young was sitting by the benchat the school park staring at the half of the broken heartgold pendant bracelet written 'DS' at the front and 'JJ'at the back. She does not know what is mean though but allshe knew is that it means alot. There is meaning behind itshe believe. It is half broken so the other half must havebeen with another particular person whom is related to herperhaps but she would not bother. The gold pendant hadbeen with her since she was a kid that she cannot evenremember when.
I believe spacing them more widely out, it's much more easier for the reader to read.. Like this..
It was quite windy. Geun Yong was sitting atthe half of the broken heart gold pendant bracelet written 'DS' at the front and 'JJ' at the back.
She does not know what is mean though but all she knew is that it means alot. There is meaning behind it she believe.
It is half broken so the other half must have been with another particular person whom is related to her perhaps but she would not bother. The gold pendant had been with her since she was a kid that she cannot even remember when.
Doesn't it looks more neater this way??
So do take note and space the words well..
:)
No offence, Just a penny of my thought..
Overall enjoyment = 9/10
I do really enjoy reading the story.. It clearly brighten up my days with the intersting plotting and cute intereactions.. :) Great Job.. Well, as the story are not completed, this aspect is not so accurate at time now, so do remember to sent in for a review when the story are completed.. :)
Bonus Mark: 4/5
2 for replying readers and 2 for the effort for writting the story.. :)
Total: 89
Additional Comment:
Like i mention.. Your story was good.. :) Everything aspect was nicely plan and written out.. :) I was hoping to see more interaction plus emotional aspect in the future updates.. :) Good luck.. :) Sent in for review when it's finish for a more detail review.. :)
Reviewed By Lamer_@Midnight-tree.co.nr
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