-Stalker-

Title: -Stalker-

Author: TsukiBucket

URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/tsukibucket01/

Reviewed By: v

Title: 7/10
The title is clear and informative. It tells readers what they’re in for – the intense fear and confusion (I’ll elaborate on that later on.). The one-word title captures my attention very much.

Poster & Background: 8.5/10
I thought the poster was quite nicely done. The side view of a man (I’m sorry, but I’m bad at recognizing k-pop celebrities, so I’m not really sure who he is.) against the blurred background, which depicts the confusion the way your title did. Well done on that.
The missing marks were the inconsistent font and your overall background. The font of the title and the credit to yourself were different from those of the Korean characters. It looks a little weird with ghostly fonts (title and credits) together with such serious fonts (the Korean characters).
I must say, you chose a safe background colour – white. I thought if you could choose a background colour, similar to those of your poster, the overall visual would be better.

Foreword: 6/10
Your forewords consist mainly of an introduction of yourself being a new writer, followed by the casts of the story (and the teachers), along with 2 sentences of what the story is about. I thought it lacked effort.

Cast Used: 3.5/5
Like I mentioned, I am terrible with K-pop celebrities. If I am not wrong (correct me if I am), the Korean casts in your story are from a band. I’ve seen their names in most stories. But the inclusion of Melissa and Hannah injects something new and different in your story. At least, there’s some space for my imagination.

Originality & Creativity: 10/15
I'll award you ten for the numerous brain cells you killed for attempting a somewhat-thriller. It's creative because most mysterious stories usually revolves around some super cool looking killer who is cold and quiet, who eventually got melted by some innocent girl - you get my drift. So yeah, great effort on that!

Story & Plotting: 12/15
A nice story overall. I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was pretty intense – just the way I had thought it would when I judged the story by the title – especially during the mid story, where Melissa had decided who she thought the stalker was.
The story revolves more than just romance, that was what sets it apart of many other fan fictions in Winglin. It was something like a thriller, though there’s no deaths (Candy’s death was different.), with Melissa checking up the Internet and surveying on the people around her.
You did terrifc!

Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 8/10
Spotted a few spelling and grammatical errors. But then again, to err is human. Just try to read through your chapters before submitting them (:

Flow of Story: 7/10
I thought it was really a drag. When I first received this review request, I was eager to read (because of the very eye-catching poster and drawing title.) but when I scrolled to see so many chapters, I was a little discouraged. There were too many irrelevant conversations between Melissa and the six guys thus side tracking from the story, though the sudden fear and confusion come back every few chapters when the story got back on track.
I thought the story ended well at Chapter 23, like a cliffhanger.

Writing Style: 3/5
Your writing style differs a little, but nevertheless, I liked the clever conversations Melissa had with the guys (even though I said it was irrelevant, but it was witty).

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
I enjoyed the story quite a bit. 2 marks deducted for the draggy story; one for the conversations and the other for the sequel. I liked the story, but I thought prolonging the story have somewhat made me less interested. The story was after all about the stalker stalking Melissa and that the main objective was to find out who he was and his purpose.

Bonus marks: 3/5
For the effort of replying your comments in LJ (:

Total mark: 76/100

Additional comments:
Sorry I took so long. It was just a couple of days before I had to move house when I received your review request. And then, I had to cope with packing and unpacking and the new school term. I’m terribly sorry about it.
& continue to write such stories. I’m sure many loved it!

Reviewed by v @midnight-tree.co.nr