reviewed by: shatterteardrops
Disclaimer/Warning: Okay, first and foremost, I have to warn the author that I am a very strict and specific reviewer. I tend to point out specific mistakes in the fic which I think can be improved/changed/edited. I do not know that author and neither does the author know me so I don’t favor nor abhor him/her in any way. May the author be assured that I am doing my best to help him/her and not to degrade him/her in any way.
Title: 7/10
~ The title gave me the feeling of an exodus, a journey where one looses hope or sort of like that. I don’t know why I felt that way though. It gave a melancholic feeling. But I think it’s refreshing too, so unlike the batch of usual weird titles on the Index Page of Winglin. Merits for that.
Poster & Background: 9/10
~ I absolutely adore the poster! I love the soft hue of the rose in contrast to the dark background. I even appreciate the purple water drop which enhanced the rose. And the background does not coerce my reading, I think that should be good enough. XD
Forewords: 7/10
~ You tend to tense shift in your forewords.
“…The purple blood her heart pumps (should be PUMPED) was cold…” >>> You shifted tense here by using ‘pumps’ instead of ‘pumped’ and was soon followed by a past tense ‘was’. That is tense shifting. Also, the other sentences were in present tense and this particular sentence had a past tense in it.
Just a tip, when you’re trying to narrate a story, you might want to use past tenses in your verbs because it’s the most effective way to write a narrative.
Anyway, I love the simplicity in your words. There was a touch of mystery and eloquence which made me want to read more. I gave out merits for that.
Cast Used: 4/5
~ I do know Calvin Chen and Ariel Lin as I have seen them in their respective dramas. I am not a fan nor a hated of them so I don’t favor nor abhor them. They’re an odd pairing and one that’s not usually used in fics. I loved how you dared to pair them up. Also, I loved the characterization. I can perfectly imagine Ariel as a bored royal blood who was raised to have such grace and finesse but who wanted to escape her life more than anything else. And Calvin was being torn between ambitions or to give what his princess’ heart truly desired.
Originality & Creativity: 13/15
~ It was original. Definitely. I had not come across such a complex plot as this one. I must say, this was really well though-of. The struggle between characters was not merely the effect of external reasons but also of internal desires. I think it’s fascinating. It was also creatively crafted. Congratulations. XD
Story & Plotting: 14/15
~ One of the most unique plots I have read. The story is well-crafted and each character has his/her degree of complexity. I do think you ended your story very briefly but I do think that it is part of your plan for your story. It brings out a more dramatic yet disappointing effect. Dramatic because it ended with a wedding between the main characters but it was not a joyful one. Disappointing because Duke C didn’t have enough courage to undermine his family’s ambition and position in order to bring happiness to the one he loved.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
~ You have a very good command of the English language. Apart from the tense shift in the forewords, you’ve written your chapters flawlessly. Your words were superb and I like how you described each scene so vividly. You are a very good author. One that’s of high caliber and rarely found in Winglin.
Flow of the Story: 9/10
~ It is well paced and the characters were well-defined. The timing for each scene is perfect. I love the conflicting sides of the main characters. I loved how you added in the doubt of love from Calvin’s perspective. It was an unseen angle yet you high-lighted it ever so subtlety.
Writing Style: 3/5
~ Eloquent and elegant. I loved your choice of words. I loved the details. But it’s just a waste because your chapters were too short. I think you could do better by lengthening them a bit. And I love the little quotes you put at the end of each chapter. They’re very enlightening. XD
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
~ I did enjoy your story. It was a refreshing read was really apart from the usual crappy stories I always come across. I was kind of disappointed with the ending though.
Bonus Marks: 4/5
~ You do reply to your readers and you accept invitations for reviews. Thank you for picking me to review your story. I’m honored to review the story of such a talented author. Keep up the good work! ^^
Total Mark: 87/100
Disclaimer/Warning: Okay, first and foremost, I have to warn the author that I am a very strict and specific reviewer. I tend to point out specific mistakes in the fic which I think can be improved/changed/edited. I do not know that author and neither does the author know me so I don’t favor nor abhor him/her in any way. May the author be assured that I am doing my best to help him/her and not to degrade him/her in any way.
Title: 7/10
~ The title gave me the feeling of an exodus, a journey where one looses hope or sort of like that. I don’t know why I felt that way though. It gave a melancholic feeling. But I think it’s refreshing too, so unlike the batch of usual weird titles on the Index Page of Winglin. Merits for that.
Poster & Background: 9/10
~ I absolutely adore the poster! I love the soft hue of the rose in contrast to the dark background. I even appreciate the purple water drop which enhanced the rose. And the background does not coerce my reading, I think that should be good enough. XD
Forewords: 7/10
~ You tend to tense shift in your forewords.
“…The purple blood her heart pumps (should be PUMPED) was cold…” >>> You shifted tense here by using ‘pumps’ instead of ‘pumped’ and was soon followed by a past tense ‘was’. That is tense shifting. Also, the other sentences were in present tense and this particular sentence had a past tense in it.
Just a tip, when you’re trying to narrate a story, you might want to use past tenses in your verbs because it’s the most effective way to write a narrative.
Anyway, I love the simplicity in your words. There was a touch of mystery and eloquence which made me want to read more. I gave out merits for that.
Cast Used: 4/5
~ I do know Calvin Chen and Ariel Lin as I have seen them in their respective dramas. I am not a fan nor a hated of them so I don’t favor nor abhor them. They’re an odd pairing and one that’s not usually used in fics. I loved how you dared to pair them up. Also, I loved the characterization. I can perfectly imagine Ariel as a bored royal blood who was raised to have such grace and finesse but who wanted to escape her life more than anything else. And Calvin was being torn between ambitions or to give what his princess’ heart truly desired.
Originality & Creativity: 13/15
~ It was original. Definitely. I had not come across such a complex plot as this one. I must say, this was really well though-of. The struggle between characters was not merely the effect of external reasons but also of internal desires. I think it’s fascinating. It was also creatively crafted. Congratulations. XD
Story & Plotting: 14/15
~ One of the most unique plots I have read. The story is well-crafted and each character has his/her degree of complexity. I do think you ended your story very briefly but I do think that it is part of your plan for your story. It brings out a more dramatic yet disappointing effect. Dramatic because it ended with a wedding between the main characters but it was not a joyful one. Disappointing because Duke C didn’t have enough courage to undermine his family’s ambition and position in order to bring happiness to the one he loved.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
~ You have a very good command of the English language. Apart from the tense shift in the forewords, you’ve written your chapters flawlessly. Your words were superb and I like how you described each scene so vividly. You are a very good author. One that’s of high caliber and rarely found in Winglin.
Flow of the Story: 9/10
~ It is well paced and the characters were well-defined. The timing for each scene is perfect. I love the conflicting sides of the main characters. I loved how you added in the doubt of love from Calvin’s perspective. It was an unseen angle yet you high-lighted it ever so subtlety.
Writing Style: 3/5
~ Eloquent and elegant. I loved your choice of words. I loved the details. But it’s just a waste because your chapters were too short. I think you could do better by lengthening them a bit. And I love the little quotes you put at the end of each chapter. They’re very enlightening. XD
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
~ I did enjoy your story. It was a refreshing read was really apart from the usual crappy stories I always come across. I was kind of disappointed with the ending though.
Bonus Marks: 4/5
~ You do reply to your readers and you accept invitations for reviews. Thank you for picking me to review your story. I’m honored to review the story of such a talented author. Keep up the good work! ^^
Total Mark: 87/100
reviewed by shattered teardrops@midnight-tree.co.nr
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