~Oopps!~

Title: ~Oopps!~
Author: Teriyaki18
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/teriyaki18

Reviewed by: shattered teardrops

Disclaimer/Warning: Okay, first and foremost, I have to warn the author that I am a very strict and specific reviewer. I tend to point out specific mistakes in the fic which I think can be improved/changed/edited. I do not know that author and neither does the author know me so I don’t favor nor abhor him/her in any way. May the author be assured that I am doing my best to help him/her and not to degrade him/her in any way.

Title: 5/10
~ Unappealing. It did not catch my attention when I first read it. And it’s not exactly meaningful. When I read the forewords, okay, that’s where I suppose the expression ‘Ooopps’ should be appropriate. I gave out points for the relation of the title to the fic. But I do feel that you could have thought of a more creative title for your story.

Poster & Background: 8/10
~ It’s beautiful. I love the degree of warmth of the poster which also matches the background. I love Hyun Joong’s expression but somehow, Anne’s expression was kind of off. I don’t know. It’s just because she’s the one in trouble and she’s even smiling. It’s just my opinion though. But everything’s still gorgeous though.

Forewords: 7/10
~ Simple and classic. The touch of simplicity never fails to gain my approval. Your forewords certainly sparked my interest and it is beautiful just as it is.

Cast Used: 4/5
~ I see you’re a fan of odd pairings. You’ve taken a gamble just by pairing these two up and I think that is worthy of points. After all, not everybody in Winglin dares to write stories about pairings such as this one. It’s good to read stories about not so common pairings once in a while. Characterization-wise, I think you’ve described them quite well.

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
~ Okay, first thing, your plot isn’t exactly original. I’ve read stories about one night stands made out of rebellion to break from their monotonous life or to have some excitement, etc. And this story of yours is no exception. Another thing, I love how you have those annoying little hanging sentences down at the bottom of the chapter so that your readers will have something to look forward to. As an author, that is really creative. But as a reader, it’s annoying. XD

Story & Plotting: 10/15
~ As I’ve said, plot-wise, it’s not original. Case closed. On the other hand, I do think this story is well paced. Not too dragging or anything and you placed the twists at the right places. I loved how you made reference to McDreamy and Grey’s Anatomy. (Yeah, I’m a fan of that show.) And I loved how you referred to Hyun Joong as Candyman.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
~ Since this is the second time that I am reviewing a story of yours, I know that you are very familiar of my much overused line: I am not a fan of one-liners. Case Closed. Spelling-wise, there are very little typos which are forgivable. Grammar-wise, you tend to shift from one tense to another. This is a very common error among writers.

Example:

“…Have you ever thought that something wasn't right the moment you open(ED) your eyes?
It all started when she was awaken(ED) by an angry glare of the sun. And realized her alarm clock didn't buzz off on the preset time so she ended up waking up 30 minutes later than she's supposed to…”

You tend to use past tense in your narration but forgot to use the past tense in some words making the whole sentence grammatically incorrect. Also, please do proof-read our chapters. I highly recommend it before you post a chapter.
Vocabulary-wise, you have a substantially good command of the English language. Your use of words and description makes your chapters seem vivid and picturesque. Points for that.

Another error:
"I'd rather stink than be taken a bath by you!”
It should be: “I’d rather stink than be bathed by you!”

There were other simple errors which I think you overlooked and I do think you really need to edit them because they were eye-sores.

Flow of Story: 8/10
~ The story is well-paced. Each chapter is well crafted and I can see that each twist is rather well-thought. But, again, I’m not a fan of one-liners. You should seriously consider putting up a decent paragraph.

Writing Style: 3/5
~ Yes, I know, I sound like a broken record, heck, even like a dysfunctional pirated CD, but yeah, I am not a fan of one-liners. I do like how you described their thoughts and feelings though. And I loved how you included their inner struggles. You know, the raging hormones and stuff like that.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
~ I did enjoy your fanfic. Congratulations on such a job well done! I loved it. Apart from one-liners and some small errors of course. XD

Bonus Marks: 3/5
~ You’re the only author so far who had the courage to pair up Filipinas with Korean celebrities. I think this deserve points. Btw, I’m a Filipina. XD

Overall Points: 72/100

reviewed by shattered teardrops@midnight-tree.co.nr