No Escape

Title: No Escape
Author: Lixiangqingren
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/noescape/
Reviewed by: WZ (Joa)

>> Title = 8/10

The title sounds pretty good but I don’t find it very alluring. It gives a very familiar ring in my ears.

>> Cast = 3.5/5

Since you have used fictional characters, I can’t say anything about celebrity portrayal. However, the characteristics that you have made up can be judged. Since your story is an one shot, the only character development for the Princess is fear. The other guy…was disgusting. I loved this line though:

“she could almost hear his lips curve up into a smirk”

>> Foreword = 7/10

Please, PLEASE don’t put credits at the beginning of your forewords. You are urging your readers to follow that link first before your story. It’s brief (seeing as your story IS a one shot) but not that intriguing. Other than that…your forewords was very simple and clean.

>> Poster & Background = 8/10

The appearance of your story is actually a relief for me. It was easy to read and the poster was nice, save for the er…“scribbles” and the black splatters on the girl’s face.

>> Plot = 12/15

So she was a princess who would inherit the throne and he wanted to get rid of her to take the crown for himself. I see I see. Sorry, to unoriginal. Plus, there wasn’t much development. Just…chase, hope, crush, stab, death.

>> Originality & Creativity = 10 /15

I’ve seen far too many of this style among books I’ve read in different languages and backgrounds. I had hoped you’d be adding your own little twist to the tragedy when I read “the light was coming closer, she was almost there.”

>> Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 9/10

I didn’t catch major mistakes. Good job.

>> Overall enjoyment = 15/20

Not my favourite story. Sorry.

>> Reader Friendly = 3/5

Did you ever reply to those comments?

>> Bonus Marks
Link Back to Us: 0/3

Total: (I need a calculator) 74. 5 / 100