Tears I Shed For You

Title: Tears I Shed For You
Author: Annyong_
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Annyong_/
Reviewed By: Keleos

First Impressions
Title: 6/10
I didn’t see how the title actually worked for the story by the time it was the first chapter, to be perfectly honest. Later, it became clear where the title was coming from, and I guess it did work out to be rather effective in the end. It’s a bit normal, the title. It doesn’t stand out amongst the fancy letterings and the creative titles of the many other fics out there, so it appears rather average. I guess there’s nothing really much you could do about this one.

I gave it slightly higher marks since it was written in good language (with everything in caps and all) and it suited the mood of the title.

Poster and Background: 7/10
I can’t see the picture, so I’ll score for background. To be honest, I don’t like background pictures because it takes the focus away from the writing. Yours doesn’t do that, so that’s really great, but I think what it needs is a more interesting font colour. The problem with the whole thing comes in two parts. Firstly, the fact that the black font and sepia colouring tends to put people off to sleep after a while, and secondly, the fact that your pictures are a bit too dark, and it makes the words overlapping them a tad hard to read (at least, on my screen they’re a bit hard to see).

I guess what you wanted was the emotional feel. This one this just that for you, but I wish it could have been a bit jazzed up. Ditto about the poster though, you might want to check your link. 

Foreword: 8/10
It’s a pretty wow foreword by you, with all the introductions done and stuff. There’s nothing really more I could ask out of it, other than the fact that maybe you do some characterisation and stuff. I really like the idea of character voice, which is what you did in the start, but later in the foreword you fell into the normal, average listing of characters like all other fics do. Maybe next time, you could just do character voice for every character? It makes the foreword a lot more attractive and interesting.

Upon closer examination…
Cast Used: 3/5
I have absolutely zero idea who your casts are so… Sorry. (I thought Won Bin was the Korean actor -_-) Erm. I guess you kind of scored more highly on characterisation, since I don’t know who they are, but your characters were vague in the early chapters. The later chapters were better and the personalities eventually became clearer and more established, but they began to appear a bit clichéd. So I think you could basically work out on that a bit more.

As for the cast people, I’m dreadfully sorry I have no idea who they are. I tried to do research and stuff, so at least I know how they look like. But other than that, it’s rather limited. My apologies!

Story and Plotting: 9/15
I think you did kind of do some sort of story planning, but I’m a bit confused. I appreciate the intertwining storylines, but I don’t think this is something that anyone should attempt to read and understand the first time if he or she is in a tired state of mind (a bit like your truly now).

Story can be summed up in a single word. Clichéd. Or more strangely, you took the plots of various Korean dramas, cut them up into bite-sized pieces, and then threw them into your fic. I see elements of various dramas inside, each of them with their own cliché, and it all rolls up into one big cliché bomb in this fic. A tad strange here, but it’s like trying to tell too many stories in one single story, which just basically kills a lot of it lost. The standard, telling elements: arranged marriage (Goong), blind after an accident girl (Stairway to Heaven), cold prince charming (practically all the dramas out there), adorable, loving brother/cousin sidekick (most obviously in a myriad of Taiwanese idol dramas, from Hana Kimi to the recent Bull Fighting), and basically rather limp schemes to get the guy. It all appears here, and I don’t know what to make of it, creative, or just plain clichéd.

Plot wise, you did well in the plotting and stuff. So that’s great!  The ending is a little strange as well, a bit too sudden for my liking, actually. It’s another one of those schizo things that you do throughout the whole fic. O.o

Language: Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
Not too bad for language, really. There’re some crazy grammar mistakes here and there, and from your normal language, I don’t think they’re meant to be deliberate…are they? Just run them through Word next time, and I think everything could be sorted out. I like the emotional passages, because the language really shines there. Well done at those parts.

All in all, alright here. Just be more consistent.

Flow of Story: 7/10
I’m penalising not for the general flow of the story, but more for the front parts. It seems terribly patchy, the initial three or four chapters of the story, which are the most important for attracting the readers’ attention and setting the pace and characters for the rest of the story. Later it gets better, but the first three chapters are a real pity. They don’t seem to fit in the rest of the story at all.

Writing Style: 3/5
Your writing style is a bit strange. It fluctuates between extremely beautiful emotion passages to plain-speaking, detached narration, to cliché oddity within a matter of one chapter. You might want to look into that again. It kind of affects the whole mood of the story, and the nice tone you set earlier (meaning to say that the jumpiness of the whole thing makes the mood a bit spoilt).

Kind of a pity.

Overall feel…
Originality & Creativity: 9/15
Like I said, I’m not sure what to make out of this fic, because it’s really something that’s clichéd rolled into one from various sources. Well… I’ve seen fics with one or two, or even three elements, but never one like yours, with so many of them. The thing is, strictly judging on Originality, yours is nowhere near the mark I’ve given you. But based on simply the fact that this one is just so… Weird to the point of being special, because of the multiple elements, I think it kind of deserves what it got.

I’m a little insecure about this, but what the heck. -_-

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
Alright, I really, really loved the emotional parts, and I found myself tearing a bit (no, not because I was yawning). But I was really tearing (yawning) at some of the parts that I fast-forwarded: emotionless narration that really, literally bored me to tears. But nevertheless, this fic falls somewhere in the middle, and it’s pretty readable as a whole, so I gave it to you. *g*

Bonus marks: 3/5
Three from linking, otherwise nothing else. 

Total mark: 68/100

Additional Comments: It was a pretty OK fic, nothing really special about it, except for the bursts of spectacular writing that littered the fic. Those were really good, and I wish there could have been more of those.

Anyway, a relatively good try here, and I’m hoping to see a better fic in your next round! Aja! 

Reviewed by Keleos@midnight-tree.co.nr

The Sacrifice Of Love (One-Shot)

Title: The Sacrifice Of Love (One-Shot)
Author: ratana
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/ratana_2205/
Reviewed By: Keleos

First Impressions
Title: 5/10
I won’t pick on it. It’s nothing to shout about, the title, but at least it appears in proper English, with each of the first letter capitalised. I understand where the title is coming from, after reading the whole fic. I think the title is overly sappy and too clichéd, and I could sort of guess the plot after seeing your title.

Then again, the title is nothing much sometimes, and I guess it’s forgivable.

Poster and Background: 6/10
Poster’s alright, I really like Calvin’s picture in this one (and I’m not a fan of Calvin, haha). Only problem is that the poster isn’t really emotional enough. Granted that the fic is rather angsty (we’ll get to that later), but the quality of the writing doesn’t quite bring out the emotions that the poster is trying to convey. So the poster eventually threatens to overwhelm the story.

Coupled with the dark background, the whole thing gives the impression of something that’s more intense and passionate and angst than sad and tragic. And the background get distracting, especially with the font colour. It’s just too bright against the black background.

Foreword: 3/10
Uh… I do not appreciate flippant forewords. I know this is terribly hard to put across to people, because forewords are supposed to introduce the characters and stuff, which is exactly what you did. But to me, forewords are meant to set the pace for the story, regardless of whether you actually introduce your characters in depth or not. Like kind of a movie trailer for a movie. Your foreword is a trailer, and your fic is a movie. It’s supposed to (like the title and the art, that’s why they’re in the same section) attract the reader into continuing.

That’s the reason why your little foreword didn’t work out at all for me. It did nothing for the characterisation (meaning, personalities and stuff), nothing for setting the story pace or mood, and absolutely nothing for attracting the readers. In fact, it reveals too much already. Listing is not doing any of those three things. Really.

Upon closer examination…
Cast Used: 2/5
Once again, I’m giving 2 for the cast and 3 for characterisation. You didn’t do any characterisation, and I like the cast, so it’s imbalanced. I have absolutely no issue with you using Hebe-Calvin-Arron as cast members, and in fact, I’m rather in love with the pairing as well.
BUT! You failed in that you didn’t do anything to develop the characters at all. I was disturbed (yes, the word is disturbed) by the lack of emotion in your characters in such an emotionally charged story. And all I wanted to do after clicking on the foreword and reading it was to just click the “Next” button.

Story and Plotting: 3/15
I was struggling with myself over the mark to give, and I finally settled on three. 1 mark for the semblance of a story, 1 mark for making sure it actually ended, 1 mark for courage and bravery on actually daring to post this.

I won’t sugarcoat my words. I promised you that I won’t be sarcastic in this review, but I’ll be brutally honest.

It sucks.

You see, the plot is not really a plot. It’s a serried of events being thrown together in the most clichéd fashion possible and then being labelled as a story. In reality, if you watch idol dramas (which I suspect you do), this fic looks like the main, interesting parts of idol drama being dug out from them, then written into a fic. Just events, without any form of train of thought or idea connecting them together. It was good that you probably tried to put together a story or sorts, but really, this REALLY doesn’t make the cut.

As for the plotting, I think you did some, but how much you did is really betrayed in the story flow (which will be talked about in a later section).

Language: Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
It’s not bad, really. For spelling and grammar, you did quite well and there weren’t major errors in the fic that kept reappearing. Which is good! Vocab wise, I suggest that you go and expand your diction. The lack of vocab made things a little tough to swallow because it just wasn’t interesting enough.

Watch your speech phrases, though. They have the tendency to sound colloquial, which is something that shouldn’t be appearing in a good piece of writing. 

Flow of Story: 2/10
Uh-uh. Just not there. I feel like I’m reading a series of individual events thrown into one, and things just happen suddenly. I’m sorry to say this, but I was laughing out loud when I was reading your what-was-supposed-to-be-emotional first chapter. It’s just so weird. I can’t explain it, but really, your story flow needs serious work and improvement, if not the whole thing will look like a joke. Just as this one was.

Order your events and give the whole thing an entirety. What this was lacking is the general trend of thought that a story should have. It’s almost like you wrote the story, then took out the non-interesting, bridging parts and then posted.

And by the way, script doesn’t work well for this section either.

Writing Style: 2/5
This is so wrong. I’ve explained the problems with your style in the previous few sections already, and I’m giving you a 2, just to be nice.

Overall feel…
Originality & Creativity: 4/15
This idol-drama type thing is not original. I repeat, it is not original. I suppose the marks go into the fact that your ending was strangely… disturbing in a way. Erm. It wasn’t romantic, I promise you, it was very disturbing.

The story ideas are just basically coming from all the idol series and whatnot, so I don’t really see the point to writing any more in this section. All I can say is… Dream up a story of your own.

Overall Enjoyment: 2/10
Nope. I didn’t like this one bit, and I didn’t enjoy it. Other than the fact that it could have been a good laugh. But I’m sorry for saying that.

Bonus marks: 2/5
For replying your readers.

Total mark: 37/100

Additional Comments: I can’t say much. All I know is… I was really being very honest in this review, and I was really trying my best to give you constructive comments and ideas that you might be able to use to improve any future writings. This was a failure; there’s no other way I could review it otherwise. But I guess, you could really try your hand in a different manner and a different fic the next time round.

Reviewed by Keleos@midnight-tree.co.nr

Where Do Rainbows End?

Where Do Rainbows End?
Written by: Keleos
www.winglin.net/fanfic/keleos6
Reviewed by: imgnts

Title: --/10
I’ve omitted this part of the review because the title is from a challenge so I think it’d be fair this way :)

Poster & Background: 10/10
The poster looks really nice and it matches the general plot of the story. The colour of the poster matches well with your background since they are all black, and it has a really nice contrast with the font colour as well.

Foreword: 8/10
The foreword was really well written, and also, I like how you’ve combined the title and related it to the story. I think your foreword could have given a bit more information rather than just providing the characters.

Cast Used: 5/5
I think the casts you picked were well used, and how you don’t have too many characters. I also like the way you presented the characters.

Originality & Creativity: 15/15
The story I can say is really interesting and the way you presented the story was a really creative & unique way. I like how you wrote it in reverse chronology and it also makes us as readers think about what might have happened between the characters beforehand. I think the story itself was pretty good and well written; it has its own unique ways.

Story & Plotting: 15/15
- Is the story interesting and unique? I think the plot was really interesting and of course, adding on the way you’ve presented your story, it adds on that effect & makes us want to read more after each chapter. It either seems like your chapters aren’t enough or you just gotta update more chapters! I think overall, your story was pretty creative, it’s a first time I’ve read a story like yours, how they somehow had a one-night stand and then the next day, he finds out that she was a suspect for a murder case! Heck, talk about coincidences!

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
The spelling, grammar & vocabulary in your story are really good & I don’t find any problem understanding it when reading it, good job!

Flow of Story: 7/10
In the beginning of each story, you’ve added the last few sentences from the previous chapter; and for me, it helped me understand what was happening in that chapter more and connects your story within each chapter. It was pretty obvious that you have written the whole story before posting it up because you had to go in reverse order. In the first chapter, I’ve got to admit that I was lost with what was happening in the story, like I would be questioning myself “What happened between those two? Why is she mad at him?” and just other questions like that.

Writing Style: 5/5
Throughout the story, you’ve used both paragraph & dialogue format of presenting your story, which in my opinion, a good way to keep readers from being bored since some people can get bored from just reading paragraphs after paragraphs.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
I enjoyed reading the story a lot and I think it’s really unique how you made it backwards with the “violet” chapter in the end, which is sort of like wrapping up your story besides the epilogue. But I’ve got to admit, in some parts I was rather confused since it was in reverse chronology, but it was really unique and because I got to read it all together, I didn’t have the trouble of waiting for you to update, it sometimes kill to wait for authors to update haha XD

Bonus marks: 5/5
Good job on replying to comments & not just saying “thanks” or the same thing over again :) I also like how you have an epilogue & a production note/author’s words before ending the story completely.

Total mark: 89/90 – good job!

Lies Hurt More Than Truth

Title: Lies Hurt More Than Truth
Author: Lovie
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovie
Reviewed By: Lone Ranger

Title: 8/10
Lies hurt more than truth. A playful pun on the phrase truth hurts. Insighful but it lacks the punch needed for a title. Good attempt nevertheless. Though I do believe you can also do better with the chapter titles since it's a 2 shot more than a 1-shot.

Poster&Background: 9/10
I love the poster and the background. It was a beautiful blend with beautiful colours. The petals and the watch at the background are pretty too. It is also good that the background did not block any of the words. Good job =)

Foreword: 9/10
I like the few lines you had for your forewords and how you used it again at the start of the story. It felt like a sad piece of music before the beginning the even sadder story. And the best part was that the meaning of it did not really sink in until I am done with the story. I guess you really deserved the 9 with such a thought provoking foreword.

Cast Used: 4/5
Although Hebe, Arron and Rainie are very common casts for fanfics here at winglin, but I am giving you a 4 as I enjoyed the characterisation you have done with Rainie. It makes me really want to slap her in the face. And the fact that you wrote the fic in Hebe's POV, it allowed me to get a sense Hebe as a person. Even the actions of Arron spoke something of him. Very nicely done.

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
Upon taking this story apart, there isn't much to the story besides a couple who had all along liked each other but never confessed and the then the intrusion of the 3rd party. Even the ending was well, explored in similar manners by various other authors in Winglin already. Also, the way Hebe recalled the incidents, though interesting was also experimented by other writers in Winglin.

Story&Plotting: 13/15
The plot is good but not special. But I would not double penalise you since I have already done so in the creativity section.

I liked the recollections ideas and how the different episoides flowed seamlessly together. It was very tight fic that actually protrayed a lot of pain within the characters. The episodes that you picked also showed a very good plot. Each of them had their own signficance which showed a lot of planning and plotting before hand. You made every word count in your one shot.Nice.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I don't exactly have much to say about the language. Well, it's good, it painted images. So there goes.

Flow Of Story: 8/10
Good flow. I know how the story is proceeding and although this story is done in a recollections style, I don't feel anything that is adrupt or confusing. Although it may seem that it was just a collection of incidents, I realized there was some form of chronological order to it and the incidents began to have a deeper and deeper effect on Hebe. Very very nice.

Writing Style: 4/5
I liked how the style of this fic went. You gave Hebe a voice indeed. You didn't need to describe in words but the readers can actually come out with descriptions on what she was like. Hebe felt real under your writing and I really loved it.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
This is one fic I enjoyed reading. I like the images that conjured inside my head.I remembered coming out the fic feeling a lot of regret for the Hebe and Arron. It was just a pity that they can't be together. The recollections also left a deep impact one me. And I think you deserve a lot of credit for making me(as a reader) feel that way.

Bonus marks: 3/5
I think the way you protrayed Hebe and Rainie made this story a good read. It was engaging. Moreover, you did stir up some emotions in me. So the bonus =)

Total mark: 83/100

Additional comments:
Very nice story. The only problem I had was that it wasn't really original. But in any case, it felt like a movie in sepia tone that can drive anyone to tears easily. Good poster, good language, well weavened plot, I recommend this to all readers.

It was one of the few fics in Winglin that actually had the story spinning in my head hours after I have read it. Lovely.

Thanks for painting such a beautiful (yet sad) picture using your words.

Reviewed by Lone Ranger @midnight-tree.co.nr

Cookies & Cream (Christmas Special)

Title: Cookies & Cream (Christmas Special)
Author: tinted_
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/tintedgold
Reviewed By: Lone Ranger

Title: 9/10
I like it =) Makes me hungry too. Moreover, after I am done with reading the story, I do see how Cookies and Cream is linked to the story and the characters which makes this title very apt.

Poster&Background: 6/10
I shan't comment about the background as there is none but the poster seems to not really suit the story and graphically wise, it wasn't really beautiful either. So yea. Maybe you want to change a poster?

Foreword: 8/10
I like the how you used cookies and cream as an introduction and how you linked it up to oreo cookies. It was light hearted, creative, yet interesting. I don't have anything against it. In fact, your introduction drew me to your story.

Cast Used: 4/5
Well, I don't read much Hong Kong artiste fics so I don't really know if this pairing is way overused or not. On the other hand, I have to comment on your the way you developed your characters. I like how you dropped little habits like how Bosco's best dish was cookies and cream (which was again a good link to the story). Also, I can see clear interaction between the characters when Bosco drives extremely fast unknowingly due to an always late Leila.

Originality & Creativity: 9/15
Honestly, this fic isn't very original or creative. It reminds me of a chick flick actually. The guy and the girl had all along liked each other but had never told each other their feelings. Then a (irritating) third party comes along. In the end everything turns out well.

Though so,you do deserve credit for setting the workplace to be a bakery (I am sick of high school stories) and that visit to the orphanage was a pretty good attempt too.

Don't get discouraged though, a non-original fic doesn't mean it's not good. While an original fic may just screw up as it is =)

Story&Plotting: 10/15
I didn't have much problems with the story. The story itself is pretty simple. The only negative comment I have is that, it wasn't special. It wasn't extremely funny, extremely heart wrenching nor does it bring the reader into whirlpools of emotions. In other words, it basically just lack the X factor.

But besides that, I guess the story's pretty good as it is.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Smooth writing. Easy to understand. Lingustically wise a very approachable fic. =)

Flow Of Story: 9/10
Very good flow. It had been a smooth sailing ride reading your fic. The introduction of new characters/plots were not choppy. I think it's also because you had a pretty simple plot to begin with. But you deserve the grades for such a smooth fic.

Writing Style: 3/5
As I have said before in the Flow section, your story's a very smooth ride. But it doesn't speak of you as a writer personally. When I grade style, I usually look out for something that speaks of the author, something that really differentiates you and from other authors. Nothing in your fic had gripped me in this manner, so yeps.

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
Nice.
A very simple yet satisfying read for the teenage girl. (since the boy and the girl ends up together at the end for a nice and sweet happy ending)

Bonus marks: 2/5
For an overall good fic =)

Total mark: 72/100

Addtional comments:
A good attempt overall. It wasn't the best fic I had ever read, but I guess it did meet my expectations for a fic. It was a light hearted read, a nice fic for a lazy sunday afternoon. Recommended for people who just want to read something happy but not deep. Sometimes deep fics do give you a headache, no?

My only complains are for your poster and maybe a little more style/X factor will make this fic better.

Do write somemore, I believe one of these days you might be able to write a really magical fic.

Reviewed by Lone Ranger @ midnight-tree.co.nr

Love Actually

Title: Love Actually
Author: MilkyStar
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/la_milky/
Reviewed By: Lone Ranger

Title: 4/10
Isn't Love Actually a movie by itself? And I don't exactly see the link between this fic and the name and since Love Actually was moive already, it doesn't look good on the creativity end either.

Poster&Background: 9/10
You had a nice colour scheme, the poster's pretty. And the background doesn't end up covering any words. Good.

Foreword: 5/10
Boring.
All the first 4 lines told me was that this was a typical love story (which is rampant around winglin) and thus it doesn't captivate me at all. If I didn't have to review this fic I wouldn't even move to chapter 1. The reason why it passed with a 6 is because her English has been pretty fluent in the forewords.

Cast Used: 3/5
Nothing special. Hebe and Arron (with a little Jiro), Rainie with Calvin are very typical couple pairings. Even the idea of staring Hebe as a nerd has been used a couple of times before. The reason why you passed is that this is a tried and tested pairing so it was, boring but workable.

Originality & Creativity: 6/15
I got to fail you in this with an overused storyline and an overused pairing. The setting is overused too. I swear 7 out of 10 fics talk about high school love stories. I am personally way sick of the whole the girl gets kidnapped/beaten up and the prince charming arrives to rescue the girl and then the girl and the boy falls in love type of plot. It's way way too overused. Your only attempt in some form of creativity is with Jiro and Genie which I personally felt backfired because it was just weird.So basically your attempt at creativity did not work out really well. Though one thing I must admit it is a very fine line between creativity and absurdity. So you aren't being a complete idiot for making a surprise plot sound a little out of place.

Story&Plotting: 7/15
I felt that the story was pretty choppy. We all know that Hebe all along had a crush with Jiro, i don't see why she can suddenly end up kissing Arron without any sign of struggle. I was expecting Arron to be slapped or something. The same goes for Rainie and Calvin. I thought Rainie was head over heels over Arron and how could she fall in love with Calvin like so suddenly?

On the other hand, I felt that there was a lack of much characterisation in your plot either

Besides that the story is pretty okay. People don't get lost in your plot.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
Your english is okay in general, I understand what you are trying to say but there are some spelling mistakes you made though, and here are some examples:
"...don't see anything wrong with her way of crushing Jiro." Genie said calmy as she did her nails vainly." (Chap 1)
"I treat her just like my sister," Arron added sarcasticly. " (Chap 2)

I didn't have much problem with your language in general, just that it wasn't spectacular that's all.

And one thing, I had a problem with this:
"diamonds(I don't think they are real diamonds. I don't know anything about such stuffs anyway)" (Chap 3)
Try not to do that, it looks really unprofessional, add a * and use it as a author's note at the back. It looks better.

Flow Of Story: 4/10
I understand the story. But like I have said in the story & plotting section, it's way too choppy and I don't see how people can like one person and stop liking the person within the snap of my fingers.

Writing Style: 3/5
The POV thing gets on my nerves a little because I am not big on switching POVs like that. But I don't think I should penalise you for that, but do note that when you change POVs too frequently in a chapter, it does get pretty confusing. The POVs issue aside, your writing style is well, plain. I see a few supposingly big words thrown around (eg: splendor) but I don't see a distinctive style from you. In other words,anyone could have written the fic.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/10
I did not enjoy your fic, personally. It doesn't appeal to me at all.
Maybe there are others that did, but I don't. And the simple reason being it is way too typical. It bores me because I already know the ending before chapter 1 ends. Even you attempt at creativity fell pretty flat with the whole Genie-Jiro thing. It turned out plain weird. At the meantime, your writing style is not spectacular either to save you from your boring plot. So here goes.

Bonus marks: 0/5
I can't think of any reason to give you a bonus mark. Sorry.

Total mark: 50/100

Addtional comments:
As I have mentioned many times in my review, your fic is just way too plain to excite me. But don't be discouraged, it wasn't diasterous or downright horrible. So I just gave you a very average mark for that effort.

Reviewed by Lone Ranger (aka Jess)@midnight-tree.co.nr

Crane Affinity

Crane Affinity
Author: Lovie
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/lovie7/
Reviewed By: imgnts

Title: 10/10
Really unique title, although I would’ve have known why you’d pick that title until I read up to the part where Ella is teaching Jiro how to fold cranes and then in the end, Jiro holds some origami for Ella, a good title which suits your story well.

Poster & Background: 10/10
I really like your poster, it’s really pretty and it’s definitely eye-catching. I think it’s really cute how you have Jiro and Chun on each of Ella’s side, and then how pictures of her with each of them are on reverse sides. So on Chun’s side would be two pictures of Ella with Jiro and vice versa…and the way you have equal amounts of pictures really kept the ending a secret too, some people tend to give away some bits from either their forewords or their poster, but you didn’t so good job! And the colours you’ve picked for the story is a really nice and pretty combination, so yeah, and the title is really catchy too.

Foreword: 10/10
I know for sure that your story is definitely unpredictable by reading the forewords, because I was wondering who Ella would end up with too, even up to the end, I didn’t know that Jiro had not died. You’ve got me there haha so yeah, nice forewords. You gave good information on the characters as well.

Cast Used: 5/5
The characteristics of each person is unique in its way, for example, Jiro wants to be a professional basketball player while Chun wants to be a professional guitar player, yikes, who should Ella pick?

Originality & Creativity: 12/15
The story is interesting but also in a way, it’s kind of like other stories where a girl has to pick between two guys. But I would say that your story does have creativity because you’ve put a lot of twists in it, like Ella having amnesia up to Jiro’s plane crashing and then turns out that he didn’t really die, but his servant – that was really sad I was like aww, don’t know why though haha. I think from reading the summary you put up in the forwards, it definitely would make readers want to know what happens in the end.

Story & Plotting: 12/15
The story is definitely interesting and unique in its own way for sure. The story itself sort of like a normal and simple story, as I’ve said earlier, it seems like other stories where a girl is stuck between two guys…etc. But I’d definitely go for the twists you’ve added in, but maybe you could’ve had the twists throughout the whole story instead of just the ending, because I know near the end, there were two major twists wasn’t there? ;)

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
Sometimes, I would catch some small grammar mistakes like past tense etc. or just the wording of it, how you phrase the words. I don’t believe there are much mistakes on your spelling throughout the story, even if there were, it would probably just be two letters in reverse order or something along that line. Um, I noticed for one of the chapters, in the end, you might have accidentally put in enter after you used “ and then a new sentence, making it a dialogue. Your story has been described pretty much in detail and your chapters are organized and well presented. If you use Microsoft before posting up the chapters, it might help with fixing spelling errors.

Flow of Story: 10/10
Your story is pretty easy to follow through and each chapters would lead to the next one, except of course when you wanted to hide some things like a twist without making it confusing so that was well done.

Writing Style: 5/5
Your story was presented in both a dialogue way and paragraph way, which is good because it varies between each one and probably beneficial since you can have characters ‘talking’ and also describe what they’re doing at times too. Also, you’ve used “POV’s” which shows which perspective the story is told in.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
Over all, the story wasn’t bad, except at parts, it seemed to be dragging a bit. But the last three chapters got exciting, with all the mysteries going on. At some parts, when you have a line in between parts, I’m not sure if it’s a different perspective or is it just a new scene so maybe you can clear those up for blurred readers like me ^_^

Bonus marks: 5/5
You interact with your readers by answering or talking to them through comments and after each story, you’d add a few words and I think you should deserve some bonus for that!

Total mark: 94/100

Highschool Romance

Title: Highschool Romance
Author: pearr
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/highschromance/
Reviewed By: Keleos

First Impressions
Title: 6/10
No biggie here, really. I’m not very impressed by the lack of creativity in the title. But I suppose… It’s alright. It’s effective enough in summing up what the whole story’s about, but it’s just not interesting. It just doesn’t stand out. Nevertheless, it works, and I guess that’s all that matters. Hohum.

Poster and Background: 9/10
OK. This is seriously odd, but I like it. Let me explain. The poster looks like something fresh out of a horror movie, because of the creepy sunset-like background and the faces staring back at you like an old photograph. The background, on the other hand, is pretty, sweet and romantic. It’s a direct mismatch, obviously, but it works out just fine for me. The poster doesn’t grate on your eye after some time, and it’s great because it becomes the centrepiece of attention for the whole fic (since you have black font and stuff). Background’s good, because it jazzes up the fic without distracting the reader (did I mention that I like plain backgrounds?). All in all, a great effort here.

Pity on the creepiness of the poster, though, if not all 10 marks will be given.

Foreword: 5/10
O…K… I really, really appreciate the effort put into the foreword, but it really doesn’t come across as interesting. Firstly, there’s nothing much on the story plot at all in the foreword (or where you expecting the title to say it all?). That means that there’s no incentive for the reader to keep on reading, and the story ends at the foreword. Secondly, what’s with the characters?

There are suggestions for that, though. For a start, put in more about the plot and less on your characters. I’m not asking you to reveal all, but perhaps just a prelude of what’s going to happen, or a bit on your characters’ personalities. And yes, you could group the characters by the families and rank, for example:

Family 1
Ao Quan
Only child.

Family 2
Xiao Jie (B)
A Wei
Mei Mei etc.

Or simply, cut down on characters. It really destroys what you have to say.
Upon closer examination…
Cast Used: 0/5
OK. I’m not afraid to give a zero and tell you that it’s difficult to give anything higher than that. Firstly, I’d say, I commend your effort in putting together a cast like this because, well… It really is difficult to put together an ensemble cast and pull it off. Which is the main issue in this fic actually – you didn’t pull it off.

I’m not familiar with any of your cast members, for a start. My recognition of them is limited to seeing random fics around with Wang Zi and Gui Gui as cast members. But the truth is, I really don’t know who they are. But since you’ve put in the effort, and you’ve specially requested that I write this review for you, I thought I might put in some research, and yes, I went to read up on these strangers on the Internet sites and looked at a couple of their MVs.

STILL. It’s too confusing for me to comprehend anything, beginning from the mass (or should I say, mess?) of relationships established in the foreword. I found myself having to open two windows, one with the story, one with the foreword and constantly switching between the two to ensure that I’m reading about a couple (and not an incestuous relationship!). By the end of Chapter 1, I was thoroughly confused already, so how’s the story supposed to go on?

One more point. The story isn’t completed, but I know it’s going to be a happy ending of sorts with ten girls and ten boys. Are they all going to be paired up? Please, that’s just revealing too much already.

Story and Plotting: 8/15
The plot is nothing special, patchy even, but I’m really going to give it to you based on effort. Negative first. I’d say that I didn’t really think that the plot was anything to shout about. It doesn’t sound typical of a Taiwanese idol drama because of its many characters, and it’s not emotional enough to be classified under a good piece of writing. It reminds me a little of Fahrenheit’s KO One series, with its many characters and roles, and the problem with this is that, because it’s not visual, it misses out a lot on what writing can do: characterisation and slow, emotional plots. The fact that the chapters skip around don’t help much either, because of the insane pace the plot of progressing at. It makes the whole fic really skimpy in many ways, and it gets boring after a while.

I can’t really put a finger on what is exactly wrong about this fic, but it really is rather strange as a whole. I say strange, not unique, because the weirdness of the entire fic gets a little irritating after a while, and you get want to skip chapters. Maybe it’s because there’s really nothing much in the plot at al. and it gets really boring.

Nevertheless, I’m giving good marks for effort and planning, because… Well, I think with the number of characters you need to handle, you’d need a lot of planning and a careful thought process before you can place them into relationships of sorts. What’s really lacking here is the organisation and presentation of ideas. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Language: Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
I won’t say the language is fantastic, but at least it’s understandable. I must admit that I was a little bracing myself for an onslaught of bad language when I first read that you had issues with your grammar and stuff, but really, you don’t have to be self-humiliating! It’s not really that bad! Some of the descriptions could be better, and there are a couple of mistakes here and there, but on the whole, it’s really quite alright. So don’t worry too much.

Watch out on your narration style though (but more on that later), and watch the conversations. They have the tendency to become overly colloquial sometimes, so just remember that you’re writing and not talking to someone. 

Flow of Story: 5/10
Once again, it’s a little strange here. I’m puzzled over why you didn’t spend more time developing relationships, and could dwell over something small like sending the girls home. The fic becomes a bit schizo. The pace keeps changing: too fast, then too slow, and because of that, it becomes imbalanced. The story doesn’t flow too well, really, but I guess it’s acceptable, so you have a 5.

Writing Style: 3/5
A very earnest effort, really. I’m sincere about writing this review because I read your fic and it had a very sincere quality to it, so I’m just repaying it.  The style of writing is nothing to shout about, it’s got no distinguishing qualities – not that you would have established a quality because this is your first fic! But it’s very honest, very sincere, and I guess even though it’s not a wonderful fic (perhaps not even one that I would otherwise read if I were not reviewing), it’s a fic that really speaks to you about what writing is all about: the heart and soul.

I hope you’ve given it your all in this fic, and well, all that’s left is to improve!

Overall feel…
Originality & Creativity: 8/15
I applaud your effort at trying to put together such a cast. That’s the plus mark for the creativity, really. It’s not common to see a fic where there are twenty leads, and each of them given almost equal “screen time”, and yours is really the first I’ve seen. It’s fresh here, so that’s point for creativity.

The problem with the originality is that there’s only the love element, and not to mention the fact that because there’re so many characters, there’re bound to be that many complicated relationships as well. And this is entirely reflected in your chapter entitle Love Triangles. It’s like… One triangle, then multiply by three or four, change the “victim” names, and voila! We get a plot.

Not good.

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
I’d give a decent mark simply because I like the fic’s honesty. I don’t like the fic much, actually, but I like the warm-hearted feeling it gives me after I’m done with it. It reminds me what it means to be a writer, and how to write a story’s that’s actually touchingly earnest.

Yep, keep it up!

Bonus marks: 4/5
Extra brownie points for just being you!

I mean seriously, it’s nice to review a fic like this.

Total mark: 61/100

Additional Comments: Well, following American Idol judge Randy Jackson’s favourite slang: “I like you, kid, I like you.” Haha. I guess it’s really important to see effort being made, no matter how plain this fic is. It’s normal, it doesn’t stand out, but anyone reading it would be impressed by the effort injected into this, which is really wonderful.

I’m looking forward to something well written by you in the near future. With your command of language, I don’t see why not. Just… change the clichéd story and cut down the characters. A gang isn’t really healthy, just three will make a sweet, love triangle story, which is what you’re trying to achieve.

Nonetheless, well done here. 

Reviewed by Keleos@midnight-tree.co.nr

Pure Innocence

Title: 纯 Pure innocence 洁

Author: by Sheepoling

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Sheepoling3/

Reviewed by: Lamer_


Title = 9/10

Well.. It was a Challenge title.. So I won’t comment too much on it.. But it’s nice and catchy.. :)

Cast = 5/5

Lovely Cast used.. Nice one.. :)

Foreword = 9/10

Interesting Foreword.. The little paragraph at the foreword grab my attention.. It interest me to read on to know more about the story.. Maybe you can add in a little character intro into it, to made the reader know a little more.. :)

Poster & Background = 10/10

Nice poster used.. Lovely.. I love it so much.. The fonts of the story are all easy to read and doesn’t hurt the reader eyes.. :)

Plot = 13.5/15

The flow was great.. The plot is was great too.. It’s cool.. I love it.. Do add in a bit more emotions part to enhance the story.. The short yet sweet part of show of Selina is what I love them most..

Originality & Creativity = 13.5/15

Nice idea of yours.. It’s really that kind of style which I really love.. It clearly have lots of your cool personal style writing which enhance the story more.. :)

Language (Spelling & Grammar) = 8.5/10

Spot a few spelling mistake.. But overall it’s all right..

Overall enjoyment = 18.5/20

I love how the story goes.. The double side of Hebe.. The unknown tale of Ella sad past.. The innocent Selina.. Every moment made me enjoy so much.. The ending was sad yet good.. :)

Reader Friendly = 5/5

The writer is very friendly and reply the readers.. Great job.. The fonts are easy to read.. Nice job.. :)

Bonus Mark!
Link Back To Us: 0/3

Remember to link us back.. :)

Total: 92

My BiRthdAy PrEseNt

Title: My BiRthdAy PrEseNt

Author: lazygirLs

URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/aaronella

Review By: Lovie

Title: 7/ 10

I can understand why it is birthday present. This title is quite creative because I have not seen it before. But, it isn’t enough to attract the readers’ attention yet. Work harder! :]

Cast Used: 5/5

Hmm I seriously like the cast used here! :D It’s quite rare to see a Aarron-Ella fanfic around because most authors would prefer Arron-Hebe. I think Arron-Ella is cute! =)

Foreword: 10/10

I like your forewords. You did include the character introduction and small peek into your story. It was well-written. =] Good job. Keep it up! :)

Poster & Background: 8/ 10

The poster seems to be too happy. So far, based on what I have read, their stories seem to be very sad and depressed. Maybe, at the end, because they had each other, the birthdays became happy ones. I’m not sure about that since your story is uncompleted. So, I can’t give you full marks because I think that the mood doesn’t quite fit.

But, the poster is really nice! I like it very much! =D

Plot: 11/15

Your ideas do flow smoothly. Good job done. Keep it up!

However, your chapters seem to be too short. It isn’t really enough to satisfy their hunger. Perhaps, you can try to organize your ideas and write them into a chapter, ending it with a small climax and keep your readers in suspense. Here’s a little suggestion. Hope it will be helpful. :D

Originality & Creativity: 10/15

The plot and storyline is quite typical except for the part that they had sad backgrounds. I think it was sad to have people sad on their birthdays. But, I would like to say that, your story lack of some more climaxes. There isn’t enough. But, at chapter 7, I see that there is a little climax. That was a nice one because you kept the readers in suspense. I can see that you have put in a lot of efforts. But, because your story is uncompleted, I can’t give you a fairer grade based on the whole story, it isn’t quite fair to you. I would suggest to you that, send in for a review again, when you have completed the story. Work harder, alright? I’m sure you can do better than this! :DD


Language(Spelling and Grammar): 5/ 10

Before I continue, I think I would first have to say that, I’m strict and particular about language. Sorry about it.

Firstly, I think that you have some spelling errors. They are just some careless mistakes like, ‘she burn her head with her pillow..’ should be “she bury her head with her pillow’ and “excident” should be accident instead. You would have to be careful about your spellings because different words might mislead readers. Just remember to check through your chapters before posting them up every time, and you will not have this problem.

Next, I think you have some careless mistakes in grammar. For example, “I think I had fall in love with her”, which should be “I think I have fallen in love” instead. Also, “silent” should be “silence” instead, when you use it as noun. These careless mistakes can be overcome as long as you check your work before you post them up, alright?

Also, you have some little mistakes in punctuations. I realized that you didn’t include full stop or question marks in some parts of your story. You should remember to add them in because punctuation is really important. For example,‘what happen darling’ would sound more like a statement than a question if you forget to include your question mark.

Last but not least, I realized that you have some problems in sentence structures because you tend to write a few sentences in one. You should break them up into a few, in order not to be long-winded and confusing. For example, ‘what am I going to do the whole day, ma pa I wished that you guys were here today I really missed you guys*she said to her self and she cannot hold her tears anymore then she cry on her knee at the beach thinking about her parents…’. You can edit the sentence to be “What am I going to do the whole day today? Ma and pa, I wished that you guys were here today because I really miss you guys! She mumbled to herself and she could not hold her tears anymore. She crouched and cried, hiding her face in her palms. She was missing her parents…” instead.

Your problems aren’t really serious. They can be overcomed easily if you put in a little bit more efforts in double-checking your work. I’m sure you would be able to do so! Work harder! =DD


Overall Enjoyment: 12/ 20

Your story is quite alright, but it lacks of sparks and climaxes. You can work more on the content wise to improve the story. Good luck! =DD

Reader Friendly: 2/5

From what I have seen, the bond between the readers and the author is quite weak although you did reply to some of the comments. I would suggest to you that, reply to all comments because all readers are there to support and give your feedbacks. It is important for you to thank them personally. In that way, readers would feedback more when they were being appreciated, alright? Work harder! =DD

Link back to Us: /3

Please remember to lick Midnight Tree the next time! www.midnight-tree.co.nr
Thank you very much. =)

Total: 70

Additional Remark: Due to the fact that your story is uncompleted, I can’t give you a fairer grade based on a completed story. It is not fair to you. So, I would suggest that you send in your story again, when it is completed. In this way, it would be fairer to you. I see that you have put in quite a lot of efforts, so continue to work hard! Good luck to you and all the best! :DD

~...oUr PuPpY lOvE...~

Title: ~...oUr PuPpY lOvE...~
Author: LiTtL3_GrE3n101
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/OPL/
Review By: Keleos

Beware: Bad review ahead.

First Impressions
Title ~ 2/10
OK. I’m not sure what to make of this, but this is DEFINITELY something I will never click if the option was available to me. Firstly, the title doesn’t tell me anything much about the story at all, except, well, it’s a love story. Between S.H.E. and Rainie, and the Fahrenheit boys. The end. Not a single detail more. Number two, for all your effort in creating a pReTtY eFfEcT, I got a headache just looking at the title. Number three, it just doesn’t appeal. At all.

Seriously, did you really think that the title was anything viable before you sent this in for review? What is this? First impressions: nada.

Poster & background ~ 5/10
Poster rocks, no doubt about it. I think it’s the first poster I’ve seen with the 新窝MV pictures, and it really churns out a very heartwarming and romantic image. I love the poster, it’s so festive and it shows all the characters together in one single picture. How wonderful.

I had comments about your background. Two chapters in, you were classified under my list as a genius. After two chapters, you were classified under that list as unaware. Let me elaborate. In your foreword and Chapter 1, your lines mysteriously and conveniently avoid overlapping the background pictures (which are opaque, nonetheless). Chapter 2 becomes some sort of a tell-tale sign that your background is a failure. The first line overlaps with the Fahrenheit picture awkwardly sticking out on the page, and the words become invisible.

It only spells one thing for me: the lack of thoughtfulness and flippancy in designing the fic, something that is going to become the underlying theme of this whole review.

5 for each section. Poster gets 5, Background gets zilch.

Foreword ~ 3/10
I’ll be honest in telling you I didn’t want to fail you in this section, because you actually did some form of introduction with your characters. Well, I’d give it to you. Good work on actually attempting to introduce your characters to the reader.

BUT. You could have achieved the same effect in less than the 74 (yes, I counted) words you used introducing them. Let me show you.

“This fic contains S.H.E, Rainie and Fahrenheit. They are all 16, smart, rich, good-looking people. Yay.” That was achieved in 15 words, a fifth of your foreword.

And seriously, if you look at it, it betrays the lack of a proper thought process. What’s with Hebe being “naughty” and “good” and the same time? And with Ella being girly (cos you mentioned Chun complaining he was sitting next to a “man woman” in the later Chapter). Contradictory. And if you bothered to run the check through Microsoft Word’s grammar and spelling software, you’d notice what the problems with the English were quite easily. No excuse.

Upon closer examination…
Plot ~ 1/15
I won’t even elaborate on what a story entails. I will define what story means: “a (1) narrative, either true or fictitious, (2)in prose or verse, designed to (3)interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.” (Emphasis my own) I must say, sadly, this story fails to fulfil none of characteristics listed above. No narrative; it’s… disjointed pieces of information put together. Neither prose nor verse; this is in script form. And most obviously, this doesn’t capture my interest at all.

After writing all that, I’ve got to say it probably is a large issue with me trying to explaining what a story is and what a good story is, because in this first place, I have no idea what the plot is talking about.

Yes. This fic survives on the basis that it has no plot whatsoever. I don’t know what you’re trying to do or achieve, and if you actually meant to write something out of this, I don’t see it. One mark goes to the fact that maybe a plot might exist… But not anywhere in this reviewer’s future of reading it.

Cast used ~ 2/5
I have to be fair and give you a 2.5 for the cast, because I like the S.H.E. and Fahrenheit pairing, no matter how overused it may be. I can’t say how much I dislike the idea of having Rainie inside. The plot (if there was any plot at all) becomes predictable from the moment you see the title. The pairings become obvious from the foreword, where everyone is paired up respectively. I’m passing the cast on the simple premise that I’ve read so many good fics with them in it.

For all the wonderful chemistry already existing between the two, I’m surprised you couldn’t even attempt to work it. And the chemistry even goes so far as to disappear in your little story. I don’t know what to make of this, except for the fact that very little effort is put into developing any form of the wonderful cast’s personalities and quirks. Disappointing.

2 marks go to the fact that the cast is stellar. The other 3 was meant characterisation, which you did none at all, so nothing for that.

Language (Spelling and Grammar) ~ 1/10
I won't even point out what mistakes you've made. The standard of your language is obvious in the score you obtained. Your flippancy in spelling and grammar provokes flippancy in my reviewing.

With the "don't care" attitude there, I’ll do the same for your review. No reason why I would be able to review well for something of this standard.

All I have to say is: language, no matter in which form, is a method of communication. You didn’t achieve that. At all.

Reader friendly ~ 3/5
Not really responding to all readers, per se, but at least you posted, so that’s alright. 

Overall feel… So far.
Originality & Creativity~ 15/15
Full marks for creativity and originality since yours in the first story I have absolutely no inkling as to where the plot is.

Overall enjoyment ~ 0/20
I can’t read a bunch of words thrown together, seriously. What IS this thing? Is it even a fic?

By the way, in case you needed to know, I didn’t finish reading whatever you had to offer. I had to stop in the middle of Chapter 6. It was nauseating.

Bonus mark!
Linking back to us: 0/3

Total: 32/100

Additional Remarks (If you have any): I assure you, I’m not normally sarcastic and mean in reviews, and even if I give a bad review for a fic, I still try to give proper comments with regards to the problems and try to offer some help as much as possible. I’m not the best writer. I don’t possess the best command of English. That’s why I believe constructivism helps a lot. The thing is, I’ve got to be able to see some form of effort being put in first before I even offer any comment. I must say, yours is really the first fic I’ve reviewed badly and been mean about it. I was irritated upon receiving this assignment, because I really saw no point in reviewing a fic that you don’t even appear to take any form of pride in. It lets down all the rest of the great fics out there, where authors spend time researching and writing in the best form possible.

Next time, send in something with actual time and effort put in. Maybe then your scores rise. And maybe then I’ll be nice about your review.

Good luck.

The Big House of Bang

The Big House of Bang
http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Kim_Bunnie/
Written by: Kim Bunnie
Reviewed by: imgnts



Title: 10/10
I like how you included “Big Bang” in your title and your main casts is Big Bang. And the title relates to your story really obviously, since it’s about Jae Rin living in the house which Big Bang lives in.

Cast Used: 4/5
I like how you used a popular group or in this case, band, of people so that most people would know and that might increase your number of readers, and yeah. But them one problem I had throughout the story – well in the first few chapters at least, was the casts and their nicknames. I wasn’t sure if you used their names or their nicknames but then I got it after the prologue part so it was okay.

Foreword: 9/10
Your forewords is well presented, it gives a brief description of everyone so good job on that :] And you kind of gave a prologue of the story before you started on the actual story, I think it’s pretty unique that way. I realized that after the last prologue chapter XD but good job, except it was a bit confusing at first, because in your forewords, I didn’t really know if Jae Joong was a member of Big Bang or not.

Poster & Background: 10/10
Nice poster! Quite suitable for the story, but just one question I’ve been wondering – if the girl is fictional, who’s the girl in the poster, is it just some random girl?

Plot: 15/15
Your plot was well presented and everything was step by step in a steady pace. Everything seemed to be very coincidental, from Jae Rin bumping into three of the members the night before to her tripping over Seung Ri and then ending up living in the same house as them!

Originality & Creativity: 12/15
I think your story was lacking some originality in a way but I’m not saying your story is bad, I really liked your story and it is really creative, but from reading previous stories, I’ve sort of read this type of story before, like famous boy or band meeting ordinary girl not knowing them…etc, you get my flow? But nevertheless you had your own creative thought and that’s what counts!

Spelling & Grammar: 9/10
No major spelling or grammar mistakes, except I think when you write “Upz” you mean “oops” right? You sometimes use some words which I’m not sure if its slang or just the words in Korean like “un” and “aa”.

Overall Enjoyment: 18/20
I really enjoyed reading the story despite the small confusions in the beginning I had because of my lack of knowledge about Big Bang…makes me feel like Jae Rin in a way haha XD joking, but anyways, I really do enjoy reading the story and your plot was good, definitely a good read, hope the best to your and more readers would come read your story!

Reader Friendly: 5/5
You’ve replied to your readers’ comments and answer questions and sort of talk to them in a way, which is good. Also, you make some author’s note sometimes and let them know if you are unable to update for a bit or not, which is building a sort of friendship with your readers, good job!

Total: 92/100
Bonus: 0/3 – Link back to us for bonus!

Carol of the Bells - Christmas One Shots

Reviewed by: Keleos

Carol of the Bells - Christmas One Shots – by JiShin

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jishin7/

First Impressions
Title ~ 8/10
A very Christmassy title and it’s really got a great imagery. It paints a picture of a… snowy Christmas day, no one on the streets and well, just a nice romantic feel. It is a good title for a Christmas story, but in the midst of the Christmas stories on winglin, this one didn’t really stand out very well. I guess that was the main problem with this title.

But upon clicking on the title and entering the main story… I suppose we can say that the whole fact that the title isn’t eye catching enough just disappears, and we’re transported into another dimension. J

Posters & background ~ 10/10
Ooh… I really liked this one. The poster really captures the main points of the whole story. It isn’t easy making a poster for a series of One-shots, but this one really worked. It reminded me a little of Eric Khoo’s “Be With Me” movie posters, where three stories are filmed into a movie. The poster was very nice, and it didn’t forget the Christmas feel too!

The main star of the whole thing was actually the background. I love the background! It’s so snowy and romantic that I felt that it really enhanced the effect of reading the stories. So yay for this section, and full marks for you. J

Foreword ~ 5/10
Well… It is a series of one-shots, so it’s a bit difficult to write a foreword, I guess. But I wish you could have said more, like maybe, write a short summary on each of the stories that were going to come, so that the readers actually have an idea of what was going to come on. But this one really didn’t say anything about the piece at all, except that it was a Christmas special and a one-liner on the cast.

Upon closer examination…
Storyline/plotting ~ 13/15
Well. What can I say? It’s a series of one-shots, so there really isn’t a solid plot going through the chapters. I expected some sort of a storyline going through each one, but instead, what this presented was a myriad of different feelings and emotions pulsing through each different story. Wow.

If I had to choose my favourite, it would be the first one, because Christmas is a happy time and that one ended happily. :P But in a way, the other two look a little similar. Not much, just a little, so it’s a two mark off from the total score for you.

Cast used ~ 3.5/5
Not many problems with the cast as a whole, and I guess it is a little unfair to judge your casting here, because the stories are dedicated to people. It wouldn’t seem right to take off marks because they are “original characters” and therefore score more lowly in creativity. But that’s how it is.

I still like the way how you took the DBSK boys and turned them into your own. The characterisation is unique here, and it really works very well for the story.

Language ~ 10/10
Beautiful language, as always. I made a resolution to read the rest of your stories after reviewing the last one, and I love your command of language. And this one definitely did not disappoint. Excellent work! J

Readability ~ 5/5
Great responses to the readers, with your interaction and full comments.

Overall feel… So far.
Creativity of the story ~ 13/15
Argh, its Christmas, so what the heck. I suppose the mark wouldn’t be that way if this wasn’t a Christmas special. :P The effect of Christmas is dreamy, romantic love stories, and this one did just that. Clichéd becomes in, and this one did just that! The first story is lingering and beautiful, the second one is… Melancholic? It’s a bit sad. And the last one is poignant. It falls into being “beautiful love stories” but like I said, it IS Christmas, and if there’s anytime to be sweet and just generally in the mood for love, it’s this one.

It isn’t different from so many other fics out there associated with Christmas in its ideas, but it scores high on creativity for just the fact that it’s beyond beautiful.

Overall enjoyment ~ 20/20
It’s a great story! Or should I say, stories?

Well, there’s really nothing I can say about this part at all. It’s hauntingly beautiful, all of them, and each piece is different from the normal stories we’d expect. I really would forgo the plot, even, just for the wonderful writing that was presented in here.

This is just… Pure Christmas magic.

Link Back To Us: 0/3

None here.

Overall review scoring: 87.5/100 :)
Comments: What a wonderful read. It’s a joy reading your stories, and I suppose… I really am sorry that I took so long to review this fic (its post-post Christmas). Anyway, have a belated Merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and I’m really, really hoping to read and see more from you soon!